Impulsive...but Centered on the BIGGER picture.

To have an impulse is to have a bump in the endorphin system. The connective pieces that make up me and embody me as a whole is having earth quake-like sensations.

I can only gather the following reasons and information as to why I am feeling all of these sensations and more…As of recently I have learned valuable life lessons on letting people, places and things go. In this instance I let go people and things , however, I will never relinquish my love and memory for a particular place. Nostalgia in my travels is what propels me forward and further on my adventurous travels, but what I allowed to finally cease to exist within my elements was former dreams and those whom I dreamed them with.

So in response to letting the people who affected my life in the mental and physical realm only, never touching the spiritual essence of my centered needs and overall relationship desires and wants…my impulses appeared to have not ceased to exist as well.

When something dissolves and you finally relinquish control over it, you would assume that everything that ceased to exist with it went away, but my impulses and passions and desires never was fanned away with the transient flames. My desire to be intimately connected to my interest at the time greets me when I lay down to sleep. In my dreams I can sense and smell him. Each touch and sensation that overcomes me is echoed deeply and rhythmically inside of me. My womanly walls echo his manly imprint deep down inside of me.

So as I wake I have this explained energy in need of its erotic death. With that said, I awake and wonder endlessly at the changes that have been and what I am becoming, a stronger woman with a restless soul in need of an EX-orcism. 

Finding the illusive reasoning behind it all...

Time and space and no thought in between pushed me into a phase of my life that I pretty much centered on absolute nothingness. Within the nothingness I convinced myself on experiencing the physicalities, delicacies and intimacy of a shared human bond and connection. No reslove, no guarantees and no expectations became my mission statement. I envied truth and denied life.

In growth and acceptance:

So I have come to the conclusion on this illusive situation and learning how to find that illusive self and verify ME. It's not an easy task, but it's no longer a visual impairment or something that I can continue to underline as to why I am experiencing these life occurrences. No longer in denial and openly validating each and every moment and experience and passing time, I have found the reasoning...

The calm after the storm:

Life has been a passionate extreme from one passing rainstorm to another thunderous tornado to lastly a hurricane which revealed a tsunami rythmic wave of changes inward. I am slowly coming into my transitions and learning to embrace the silence and enjoy the space I had previously filled tempoairly with romantic toxins unknown to my senses at the time, but now I know and have cleansed my soul and the emotional imprint left. We are all not prone from revisiting former feelings, moments and time(s) in our lives; however, we must realize when to singularly bow out of a situation and call attention to the stillness and blissfully welcomed silence.

Look no further

The best love is characterized as self love. Did you know that? who best and better to experience, please, make amends to ensure the overall quality of an experience and satisifactory experience than you?
Reading this sentence over and over to myself, my reality began to settle in. What I looked for in others I never valued or appreciated in myself.


Not awaiting the start of the New Year 2013 to begin the work that is placed before me. Positive reflections are to be captured and taken care of.

The reflection of "Self"

• SELFLove
• SELFGudiance
• SELFPassion
• SELFTaught

These four words have been my totem for the week, which will lead into my month. New avenues and directions and thoughts on what it means to look outside, when what's on the inside isn't reflecting what you are searching for. If I want what I am not, then I have no satisfactory needs, but if I want what I currently am to compliment me, then I will need to exude all of the above.

No entries about looked for, longed for and lost for love. No thoughts about previous experiences and expectations, for the sky in the lover's realm remains unlimited.