I can do this…
I want to do this…
I will do this…
The ache inside of my soul to fulfill the necessary longing
of a woman who longs for the man whom she has fallen in love with unabashedly, and admittedly so
she has loved this man from the very first day she laid eyes upon him, there
was this instant connection that never ceased to stop. She has marveled at how
he has soothed her soul and silences her chaotic emotional waves and questioning
theories about love and the existence of true faith when one truly
finds their souls mate, but deep down inside she fears she will never be enough
for him, she finds herself looking towards the attention of half hearted
affectionate love starved interests who only balance her temporarily and
silence the moans from a grieving heart.
I want that moment back when you beckoned to see me, but yet
after all the hair styling, waxing and tweezing and mental and physical
preparation of your arrival I still feared seeing you, so I flaked and canceled
and now I am left wondering what could have been…why is that? This is my
current brain conundrum…this is the ache in my belly and hole that’s fluttering
dangerously within my heart. I am drowning on thoughts and literally washed
away in a memories time. I feel deeply and care enormously for you, but yet I
fear you.
If I have you…what
could I possibly do with you?
Having you is enough? Shall I continue to want you after I
have had you?
Having and had you consists of what to me?
I love deeply and passionately and half-heartedly and surface
all at once, but yet with you I feel as if I can lose everything and within
losing everything I will lose myself, the image of self that I have built and
worked on for so many years. What will become of me?
