So let’s just say that I am finally deciding that all relationships are not subject to global wars, and that two people can actually work well together to productively live in unison? Hmm…. The more I search for reason and normalcy the more I am pushed into indecision and confusion. I fear structure, but want that steadfast communication with my partner. I fear relying on someone and simply falling backwards, hands in the air and both eyes closed, but yet I need you, and want to be needed by you, as I openly depend on you. I would like for you to be there for me when I am coming home. I would like to express our days over dinner, and relaxing on the couch. I want to be smothered by your body, safe and secure, but then again I want to be free to move and fly like the solo birds. My destination unknown, but my independence announced.
To want to feel and express so much it so tempting and at times it can have a down side. I want to tell you everything from my wake up to my lay down. I want to describe to you every inch of a way and experience, so you know just how to attend to me. My needs are to be addressed, but you know exactly what I am feeling and experiencing, so I wouldn’t have to over state anything to you. You already know, and for that I love you……..
The down side to being in love, is being unable to shelter yourself. Once again you are left open to any slights, hurts and moments that may push you back and challenge even the sturdiest of feelings. You may have opened up, and shared your world with someone, and allowed yourself to feel a sense of connections and feelings to them, with them and for them, to then not receive a response back from them, or to be partially suspended in the romantic air by your heart strings, pulling and tearing and bleeding all around you. Love is one emotion that encompasses it all, but it’s an intoxicating emotion that requires constant maintenance and care. Although love can present itself in many ways, and blossom and be groomed to become something larger than life, or be taken away from someone’s life, love, affections, romance and passions are what makes many people’s moments, and what breaks somes’ lives. …….
So addressing myself as real as possible, and thinking as a realist I must say I have to embrace these experiences and even find solace in the down side of life, for everything that goes down eventually will come right back up!
Lesson Sixty: Passion and Destruction births New Life and Hope
Although my passionate ride has descended and then resurfaced I have decided to chart another boat and sail the high seas uncharted and free from all that has tied me behind. On this new journey I am welcoming enchantment, love, laughter, life and the simplicity of it all.
Thoughts are to be expressed and carried out. Picture your thoughts as a dream catcher of sorts. Writing out what I think and am feeling at the time assists me with resolving an issue, or enabling myself to experience and express my thoughts in relation to what is going on in my life.
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