In an Image I had IT ALL: Capturing the Essence of it

There is absolutely nothing wrong with soliciting a memory or recapturing a thought of someone through a picture. It was in that still photo that I received everything I needed to know about you, and about me in that moment. I entirely believe in the theory of capturing an essence and emotion all within a photo. 

A recent picture has held not only my attention, but it has set precedence within my heart and mind which has allowed me to further my memory and want to expand on this image. The imagery itself is innocent as it was captured, but the content happiness not easily disguised by the newness of that moment spoke volumes within me.

The energy exchange of that moment was real and it existed. The connection was undeniable and the ease that I had experienced allowed me to emotionally eat that moment up, and as I chewed on the happiness and my heart was delighted and my mind expanding the instant romantic in me entirely took over, but as it took over I was in need of an immediate bring me back to my centered self and calm the emotions down.

This self discovery has led me to believe that when you have grown through out the years emotionally starved for that connective force, a force which comforted and complimented you, you soon began to realize that any form that resembled a slight grasp of emotional attention and affection was immediately zoned in on and manifested in my actions, but through the years of struggling to find that mutual affection and attention that I desired for I realized that suffocating something you assumed could possibly be your everything, for fear of wanting to take your time and get to know it and the possibility of it was within my control and something I assumed was the way of a love starved romantic.

I currently am looking at that picture and I am allowing the memory to flood throughout me, but I am not allowing the memory to overwhelm me or allow me to make poor emotional decisions and choices that leave my aching and ailing heart out to dry. 

So I captured your image and I personalized why it matters and means so much to me, but I am allowing your image to float away not in haste or distaste, but a positive reflective release of an image of happiness and mutual interest captured and for however long the interest may last I will always have that memory.

Maktub!

Finding my personal passion and inner dreams is what is driving me to the midst of searching for that infinite satisfaction. I am literally compelled to suffocate anything that reminds me of happiness and joy. Finding the calm and the compassion when showing interest is something that doesn't grace me, but yet it's something that I must learn.

I believe the one area in my life that was lacking of attention was my intensive romance sector, it's not as if I didn't visit this life point, I just never took the time to work within it allowing it to grow and develop into an area to be reckoned and fulfilled with.

It's an almost naiveté of sorts, because although I recognize disinterest, and definite differences with the opposite sex, I then don't counter these omens with the reality of the situation. Perhaps if I named a thing a thing and called lust or basic physical beauty interests only as so, then perhaps I could spare my emotional set and heart a broken heart string.

So how does one reveal their endless emotional self and most deepest beating heart and heart felts moments they wish to impress upon their significant other? How does one captivate the undulated attention of their significant other without resorting to being identified as creepy and a weirdo, and lastly, when knowing the time is right and the moment has presented itself...how does one receive the most highest and desired for and sought after love?

All of these questions run rampant within my mind and stain my heart and soul. 

17 more days...

  

When there is no absolute pull to any longer exist in a sheltered state of discomfort. When you awake in the morning and look up at the ceiling for the endless time and know that your ceiling looks almost foreign to you, then you now know that life has passed you right on by with or without your approval.

As I am seeing it...life has caught up to me. What was once accepted as a standard for limited interaction of mediocre declarations of interest has flamed fanned away. My attention to detail span has increased, my need for exact definitions and meanings of your thought to reaction to expected outcome to realistic outcome is centering to me. 

No longer do I fantasize about the what if's, I no longer await a shadowed illusion of the what if, and the expected outcome is no longer devised from my thought to expectation, but spoken truthfully from you.

Perhaps the year coming to the end has a major role in my heart of hearts finally putting its love stained foot down. Perhaps my level of happiness has increased ten fold and I no longer gravitate towards anything or anyone. 

The amount of attention one will derive life from is the amount of attention that becomes pleasing and welcomed and a sense of wonderment for most. The days of partially accepting a mass appeal and honoring of a soul union has dissolved. The importance of the experience, whatever it may be within anyone's eyes is invaluable.

17 more days to the start of 2015 the new ideals are now the reasons for living life fully, completely and unconditionally as me. 

I welcome this transition: Getting a head start on what makes an ailing heart whole

A testament to a missed step within the daily walk of life is when you value a soured experience for the life lesson and message afforded to you. What at one time puzzled you, no longer complicates you, and where there was a definite life fog occurring at one time there no longer exists the grayish haze when you have cleared your mind and heart.

A misstep that once could crush me no longer held power over me, actually I think about this recent incident as a life hiccup. Unexpectedly recurring with an exact cure that needed to be executed at once for unexpected maintenance. 

Well, I have found my cure and I have dug deep within to realize that everyone can simply pay you attention, compliment your daily habits and life interactions within them, however, not everyone values the essence of a divine interaction with someones spirit. Not everyone can understand the unique beauty of something they can't physically see or touch, but can be valued through other outwardly and inwardly bodily attributes. 

I take ownership in any confusing and undecided role I have engaged in, better yet I denounce it all together, LOL. I have decided to value each experience from a compassionate and mutual invested and interested stance. 

The days of one sided ideals, unmatched journeys and non value towards the betterment of yourself and significant other will not be acknowledge. 

As I walk forward I stand my ground of future betterment and a shared life experience.