Here I am
Having made the most important decision in my world…the
moment I decided to give a situation my undivided attention and my best
intention on being present and giving of my time.
With each moment I questioned my experience with him due to
my many self-evaluations of everything happening with and within me, that I
detached myself further from the moment and cast my own shadow deep within
fear. I found doubt and troubles within self where there was none. I questioned
my own existence and thought plans, but when I reacted to others I was someone
not to be contested with.
So here I am with a want that is garnering on a distinct
need to know exactly where that pebble resides at now. The same pebble that
everyone throws into a lake when breaking a thought, making a wish or simply
passing time. I am throwing my pebble into the water and in hopes that the
rippled waves will whisper that hidden gem of unanswerable questions.
So I make the choice of giving my all and in knowing that I
am giving my all I must in fact know that I might not receive someone’s
reciprocated love and affections; or perhaps even be acknowledged for openly
giving without any expectations, but is this to cast aside my feelings and
possibly leap so far ahead that my visual field is forever blocked?
Hmmm
With giving my love, my intention is to show him where I
stand, and with my stance I am noting that I am not moving my positive nature
and well-received wishes and actions for just someone, but it is to be gifted
to everyone. I remain graced and blessed in knowing that a gift of love and
kindness and the sharing of this deeply human emotion is the envy of all
worlds.
So in possession of this love, I am deeming my experience
deeper with him. I am diving forward and not allowing a splash of mixed
emotions and anxiety-ridden feelings to get the best of me. I am allowing my
soul to speak a language of love that was long forgotten, a language so
intimately inclined and distinct that our moments together will never resemble
the same.
I am up for the emotional and mental challenge.
In my growing love for him, it benefits me with loving each
and everyone else especially loving myself more. I have garnered this deeply
ingrained spirit of virtuous purity that the beauty of this unchained emotion
was gathered ever so deeply, and within it’s depth I held him close and erased
everything that crossed him, and denied me and declined us both.
Love The Higher Love.
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