It's neither a hit or a miss or a stoppage in my personal growth goal of self reflection for the 25".
I have realized that I enjoy the art of conversating. I literally look forward to the captive engagement of sharing information, questioning mutual wonderment and being able to clearly define a mutual interest or some what of a hidden fantasy or past time of a desire.
There is nothing like the instant bang of a chemical connection inspired by situational thoughts of unhinged passions; to be even more specific the thought of a sexually charged battle to the nights' end is something of a distant dream, but not that far off distant.
Where I went a little astray this one time was expecting a mutual explosion of the connective fusion mentally and physically, and what resulted was a misinterpreted mind fuck. Let's just say I was projecting what I assumed would be a shared bond of mutual desire and passion, a moment in time where I could simply be in the midst of something.
It was carnal. I wouldn't attach a scent to it, I would simply say that he gives off intense waves of energy that felt as if it had connected with me before he spoke. I would say a ravenous passion, a quiet and thunderous energy that I haven't felt in such a long time. I really wanted to forget as to why I was there, but I slowly started to bring my attention back to my session; and the immediate feelings of wondering how to pursue this interest; this shared moment of combustive tension...
For what it was worth I guess I realized three things, my passions can be so intense that common sense has no room to enter into the conversation. Secondly, I was wanting something that never could really exist in my current life pattern, placement and need in this present moment; lastly, the reality of Lusting for or Lusting after swiftly fades away when it no longer serves its purpose, so this is perhaps why it could never be or become.
Tada!
