Carpe Diem In the Name of L.O.V.E

Without a shadow of doubt our bodies created this fairytale like world whereas love never falters, disappointment never begins and the emotional connection ceases to end. Whatever troubled me stood no ground in your presence, it's as if everything melted away. Your full stance and calming soul blanketed me and I feared no more. Years later you would wonder why this connection ran deeply so, or why there was never anything as riveting and diverting of my attention span as when you are within my visual field. I have a preference, but I dare not say it...once I breathe the dragon of my volcanic love things will fail to remain the same. This may be an emotional upset or even an appeal to my sensibilities in life, but I'd be damned if I wouldn't admit that I had fallen and this time I don't ever want to get up.

I want you right there beside me paining from pleasure and broken passion; only to revel in the thought of eternal bliss and sunshine.


Roses and daffodils and sunflowers, green lawns and blue skies and great plains and escapes. As easy as that flowed off my already passion swollen tongue (writhed with taste of you)I continue to speak and pressingly so even in the midst of it all. Cease the day they say...but I want to capture you. Our bodies reach for one another, our kisses intensify and fingertip strokes form into deep massages to endearing pulls.

That magic is addictive

 Stirs me

 Pulls me 

 Deeper

 Into you...

What I know and What I Welcome...

Solace to my soul and wisdom to my mind and peace within my heart…

I am comfortable in predictable chaos. I am content with not knowing entirely where I stand. I have only looked into temporary needs, and filled myself to the brim never allowing my emotions to flow over. It’s an almost organized downhill descent to absolutely nowhere but an oppressed heart and shut down mind…and as I awake from this emotional nightmare I realize that it has passed me but yet hovers in the distance of doubt. What could I possibly fear?

I have been through personal transformations that resembled being upended and having had the rug removed from under my feet, to walking blindly into a situation with faith and belief that all will work wonderfully well. I had no doubt then, but yet presently I continue to close the door on experiencing a wholesome and uncontested love.

 As I close out several chapters to those that have entered and easily exited, I am seeing that what really matters is not the chaos, but the stillness when I am in peace. The presence of those who really matter, the presence of someone taking the time to invest in you and seek to explore, experience and encourage the drive that pushes you forward.

Allowing the THREE E’s to take a hold of me, who and what could possibly fail me now…

A Healthy love: Mind body and Spirit in unison. What once mattered no longer imprints. What does matter evolves and lives on!

I am on a Journey…and on my pathway I have encountered life situations that have tempted me, discouraged me, pleased me and left me doubting me, but in the end I have allowed faith and my life to simply fall accordingly. Each moment is to be experienced, but it’s what we understand and take from the experience that define US. When I like someone I become so involved within the relationship, that I forgot the main element of surprise…continuing to know and love thy self.

This is a personal admission that hunted me in several relationships, and it’s something that had become almost a natural experience for me. When you lose since of self and control over your own emotions you look toward others and their own individual life plight as your very own, no longer living vicariously through a person’s experience, but allowing it to define and mirror your very own. It becomes very difficult to rid yourself of these feelings, but when you step outside of yourself and take a hard felt and objective look you slowly begin to regain the pieces of self. Whatever relationship error you previously made or participated in no longer deeply weighs on your shoulders. You have accepted each relationship in passing as temporary. You have reconciled with your heart and found that it beats for you, because it loves you and wants you to continue on, and so you begin to redefine your image and individual journey.

#LoveYOU #TeamAmor #MeFirst

Something stated so simply, but yet resonating so deeply within our souls is our very own ability to realize what is ideal for us when dating and pursuing long term passionate relationships. It’s important to pay attention to your individual wants and have the ability to definitely not settle yourself to just any form of interest, passion, lust and love. Being aware of your emotional self and individual needs affords you the ability to become a love master, and judge every opportunity based on where your heart, life and long term goals are willing to expand to. Within our search for love we look for an equal love almost fairy tale like, we tend to overlook common factors when dating and relating and finding love. Yes, we do lean towards pure unadulterated emotions, basic chemistry connections and likeminded interests as being the ultimate relationship consummator, however, having a healthy and developing love and taking our time to rediscover our independent interests and desire affords us the ability to explore our partner and relationship of choice rather than rushing and jumping on the love roller coaster. So when you feel the telling signs of unease and discomfort within your relationship, or when the rose tinted shades begin to clear and your vision is no longer tinted by raw emotions you then know when to take a humbling bow and thank your former flame for the relationship experience that allowed you to examine and define your love style. You welcome change and a transitioning experience openly and honestly, and you look forward to a developing and deserving love.

 #SayGoodBye #OnToTheNext #HelloGoodMorning

When I realized that someone else’s love does not complete you, but it only compliments your own individual love for yourself a major emotional waved has shifted within me. I have learned that another person’s love compliments you but doesn’t complete you. A shared experience and path can be ventured together, but in the end your dreams and life path walked will only be ventured by you. So when you can coexist in a relationship without a need for any outside you realize what truly completes you. A new found respect for your lover’s way in life and within their own individual world promotes a healthy and respectful relationship with yourself and within your relationship.
 #TrueLove #LetItBloom #EvolvedLove

Developing a new found respect for gym activities and Pinterest body sculpting pins; working towards creating a healthier mindset and fitness goals has afforded me peace and relaxation all around. When you promote a satisfying and healthy self, you attract just exactly what you want and need. Your experience within creating a healthy relationship with yourself determine your motivations with relationships with everyone else, and if they will serve you and your own goals. Rest and relaxation and finding time to vacation or simply get away from your everyday norms allows you to regenerate, recollect and promote an experience within that can never be matched by anything or anyone.
#RestRelax #VacationsAreNeeded #PromotingAHealthyLifestyle

When we rush relationships we fall in all types of trouble within our heart, within ourselves and within our love path chosen. We question everything due to not taking the time to create clear communication with our partner. We openly communicate and display a love that we know we are deserving of when we take the time to build love. Things do happen in life, coincidences occur, de ja vu and visionary dreams do come to fruition, but in order to experience it and expect more from a life snippet we must water it, and when we water it we must be willing to openly grow it through the good and bad times of development. Knowing your intentions and your lovers intentions and continuing to blossom on from there allows patience and persistence to be magnetic and worthwhile.

#TakeYourTime #InstaLove #Patience

How to settle an open heart in a world of mixed emotions...

Some days I am hot and other days I am cold. Some nights I jump proudly into my bed and roll around as if the world is all mine, and other nights I huddle in between the sheets and look at the bare ceiling wondering why there is a little indent on the right side of my ceiling and yet the left side lay smoothly.

My heart has healed and my mind lay open to all types of romantic interceptions, but yet I feel like Leonardo DiCaprio in Inception. I await my dream life and chase my reality in a sleeping state. Within my sleep I lay witness to everything that I could have possibly done to not receive your love and affections. As I awake I answer your call with trepidation, but also with a stillness within my heart that has allowed me to receive you fully. How can this be when our life situation is iffy at best with a chance of complication...

In my distance my soul silenced itself to you. I attempted to cut all ties and leave life as simply as could be, and within my simplicity I found my answers. There is nothing that I could absolutely do to unbind a naturalistic love, a love that was charted before our very own conception. A love that has no barriers and is real. A love that is just a difficult and challenging as most. A true love.

So today I am luke warm and I look across the table at my best friend as she snaps my picture. We have exchanged our hearts information about the one's that has captivated our mind, hearts and time. The ones who may have gotten away, but slowly crept back into pour thought rotation, however, this time we stand at the doorway with the door closed looking through the peephole just thinking "Is this meant to be?"

The Chase: Until we find our very own balance and sense of self within love we will always be looking and never quite finding what we truly need.

To give love out freely, but yet to walk away from a potential heartache yielding no expectation or desires to resume it once again has become the guiding force within my very own current existence. I have lived my emotional life gravitating to those whose hearts needed to be shown love. As I gave out all of my love and affections I soon realized that there were limitations of the heart when it’s not mutually reflected. You can’t continue to Nurse other peoples ailing hearts as your very own heart decreases in its size and productivity.


 Accepting the no expectations, no responsibility modules I was able to sail through life without thinking any further. To sustain myself in a losing battle of love I always thought it was best to keep your emotions and experiences at bay, but then I started to follow my heart and yet it attracted people who needed Nursing and healing, and yet again their awakening was seen as my ending. I limited and challenged myself at the same time. I faced an opposite with a futuristic outlook and then I started to awake. If you test yourself you will always feel pressured and forced to respond with the right answer, although you may never know what exactly is the right answer you will continually fear being wrong, so with being wrong you would have learned from so many attempts that you begin to then close yourself off from further deduction and problem solving from within. Although I fear, I also explore. I dream, but yet I doubt. I attempt to balance one with another and open my eyes to the present waking moment, and within that balance I was able to slowly uncover what I haven’t really been able to embrace in almost 33 years of life…Me.

 Acceptance, understanding, compassion, love: My most recent four agreements and guiding forces that continues to nurture a wavering and unyielding soul. I have accepted the fact that people will come into your life for a reason. Their reason may not mirror your very own, but there is a message to be deciphered, and within that message you will find all the answers you have ever needed for that very moment. There can be no temporary me. I was created to give and receive love, and for me to respect and understand love I needed to experience a greedy love, a self-centered love, complicated love and a rejuvenated love. It took accepting, experiencing and learning about this love to appreciate my solace and reconnection period within myself. What we give others should be given back equally! I can say that through each experience good or bad or indifferent, I have regained a new found sense of self and just what I wanted and needed in this life, and as difficult and emotionally draining life can be it’s also meant to be lived, explored and loved!

TIME is the Ultimate healer of all: Learning to age and love with grace.

Noticing in life everything happens within reason, and that there is a sense of responsibility and control we must have in order to see our most interesting life and circumstantial outcomes to occur; we have to experience life in every given moment. So in this given moment I decided to progress forward within my life experiences. Everything is up for review within the eyes of others, but within my very own eyes I have already decided that this moment in my life I will pursue and go forward with what has been naturally planned. The fear and doubt that resides within me will always surface to the top, but the design of my life and most passionate physical and mental connected experience to date has arrived, and I am already at this station ready to hop on this life train!

When reviewing my previous state of mind throughout my 32 years of living and loving life, and looking back at partnerships, relationship and intimate experiences that have left me emotionally available and open for so much more than I was ready to experience at that time, but then now I look at everything that is placed before me and I say to myself it has been handled previously within my life experience, but now life history repeats itself and I must make myself available for these lesson to be learned! I believe that everyone enters your life for a reason and the more you learn and study from the person the more your life lessons will be revealed to you. My sense of attracting uncensored, unloved or unloving hearts or emotionally indifferent lovers bothered me at one time. I thought there must have been a sign on my forehead stating that I am a 24/7 social worker for all, but yet I continued to attract the “type” until I started looking within. Everything that is clear is neither clean or streak free from dirty residue.

 No one particular moment in life is perfect, and neither is anyone so it’s a matter of learning about your lover, taking what you need from them and figuring out if this attracting soul fits within your life fold…taking this step and looking from within and gathering my emotional self and expecting a different outcome, allowed my heart and mind to settle on the notion of a no conditions kind of love! It took me years to get to this point, but I am aware of myself and moving forward with level of understanding of personalities outside of my very own, and never being disappointed in the blessings in disguise and life changes. I have an open mind and an open heart and I am eager to love and learn about the happiness of this life. The upsetting point can occur when I think about how long it has taken me to get to this point in my existence, but then I think to myself that I would have not been able to handle these life responsibilities years ago, so I am thankful for the aged gap and the wisdom and knowledge! Learning to experience a love like no other is in fact a challenge to the senses.

 A compromised love can have you rethinking your place in life and within the moments of your choosing, but then you realize that there always will be you before and after the love, and you must hold true to your individual beliefs although life, emotions, love and the art of mastering love is always something that sets your heart to the wind. Everything is meant to be experienced. Everything is meant to be challenged; otherwise it would not be LIVING!

Tasting of the Divinity of a truly Passionate Soul experience...Can I handle it?

A connected force of a shared union can be pulling to the point of a choked hold. As I stand amidst the potential ruin before me, I must admit that neither a sense of fear or defeat comes over me. 

I could allow these moments to literally define my current life situation. The passionate embraces and clipped times spent together could add up and branch out into something, but am I willing and patient to see whatever this situation is developing into?

As with life we take chance moments and happenings for granted. We become greedy and get a sample of something that intrigues us and we instantly devour it. We don't allow the natural state of digestion to settle in or the feelings that occur when we ingest and really allow our taste buds to hone in on why this taste so good. 

This analogy I associate with life and my intricate take on passion and my romantic stance and life. Even when the fruit is forbidden we don't take time to ingest the most sweetest and bitter parts. We greedily swallow whole and hope for the best, but when an upset stomach or gas occurs we finally take the time to see just what caused this issue.

So as many times as I can talk myself into a situation and definitely out of a situation, I can easily learn to take time and understand it. When people enter your life you have to honestly tell yourself that nothing is forever, and although we as human beings have the tendency to see life in hours, minutes and seconds to days, months and years; that temporary forever still remains nonexistent, because at any moment what we once knew and had and cherished could be removed right before our eyes.

So does this explain my greed with wanting to swallow life whole? I don't want to sink into the depths of understanding, when the discomfort, upset and irritation of knowing could be harmful and hazardous to my sanity and health, but yet I want to succumb to the limiting feeling of existing and just being, without getting to the absolute bottom of the experience and working my way right back up towards the top. It's at the root life begins and ends. 

I am challenging myself to be uncomfortable, to stand corrected to absolutely get to the bottom of each situation and reason as to why people enter my life. The more I am becoming absolutely comfortable in my very own surroundings and my own company and space, the more I am learning that this inner peace extends outside of yourself and the very walls you are working to break down.

As to the situation of romantic heights, I am afraid yes, but I am willing to allow life to unfold before me, but not with blinded eyes, or rose tinted lenses, but with big beautiful green eyes. I have the ability to remain whole and complete and intact, but I also have the ability to allow myself to be pulled in many directions, lose focus and go unguided, but I won't allow the untested and uncharted ways of my life and the world to have a handle on me. 

I remain open to tasting a love so deep!