The art of detachment is simply an art. To be secure in the
fact of separation of yourself from everything that is around you encourages
you to not only detach yourself from all situations, but to absolutely experience
each moment as they come and to simply let go of these experiences with ease
and grace and recall everything within memory and time. As I am recalling each
memory and moment I am not holding no connective ties to these experiences. I
am simply releasing them as they come and soon go…
The hardest thing for me to do is experience an emotion and
to ride the wave of experience with the emotion and to simply let it go. To be amid
your highest peak and then let it bottom line to a distant memory is a definite
change that is taking me some time to get used to. I started this transitional
thinking as of recent and the concept is easy to understand and potentially
emotionally healing to begin with, but when applying this to my daily life I instantly
felt a sudden shift from comfort to discomfort and immediate attention to
clarify the rapid emotions that began to bubble up for me. It was super
intensive and insane all at once. I started to question my relationships and
most current interaction with a significant other. How could you learn to love
and then simply let it all go? How could you be physically, mentally and spiritually
present and then vanish right before someone’s eye? If you allow someone to
become mentally intimate and vulnerable to you, how could you create distance
and space as if this connectivity was never established?
There are so many questions, and now I don’t have the
answers to any of these questions. But what I know for sure is that being
present in the moment does not mean being dismissive or uncaring and shutting
yourself off cold after the interaction. It doesn’t mean cutting people off
short from where they stand so they don’t get too attached to you, or opening
them up and emptying their souls before you and not being responsive towards
the healing that goes with closing these spiritual holes…what I have come to
understand in my personal battle with the art of detachment is to simply be
present and make no demands on the length of time you are to be in someone’s
grace. Your personal space and time for me is a grace and a blessing to share
among others, so why create a sense of longevity in a short span of time? Why
frustrate yourself with expectations and outcomes when you are simply amid an
amazing moment! Now let’s be clear, we must be precise in our words and actions
and say what we want to say and mean what we are saying, but we can’t put too
much attention and time on the what if’s and the however by short changing the
experience.
So, it has literally taking a lot of adjusting and understanding
on my part of my own personal expectations of what it is I am wanting. I have
narrowed it down to simply wanting a deeper experience within myself, while
having the ability to share my experience and compliment my partners experience
in an exchange of shared memories, never lost but never lingered on. Always
ready for the newest installment of life happenings 101.
Although this has been a reassuring moment and even a down
right gut wrenching to the bones experience, I am happy to say emotionally it’s
a struggle, from wanting to predict and project everything to simply existing
in the shared space, whatever the space may be. I challenge myself to take each
day with an act of faith and simply knowing that whatever is for me is for me
and it will be, but I can’t cloud my life movements by simply smudging it up
with expectations I can’t even make or meet for myself.
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| **I Do** |
So, appeal to your most inner self and take each day in
stride and simply live for these moments as they come and as surely as they go.
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