As the months have rolled and at times roared on by, I have had unique opportunities to learn more about myself in times of tremendous stress and crisis, I've been granted the ability to develop an unconditioned love that has shown me that throughout all of my relationships and experiences in life and searching for the elusive "love" it was never too far from me. In fact, love was always within me, I just kept looking within others whom I deemed loveable and ready for love to have been the answer, but disappointedly so my heart was never truly abandoned because I maintained the love for myself. That is when it ALL made so much sense and the exciting memories when in lust because it was never really love, just life experiences that mounted into a burst of remote responses that garnered fleeting reactions.
So within these months, life has gifted me with a true experience. An experience that doesn't separate the feminine and masculine energies, but builds on the two. The distinct but dual experiences that literally walk side by side with one another are honored when both parties commit to honest communication, values one another's placement within each other's lives while uniquely blending the two experiences with shared dreams, everyday life experiences and living, friendships and family ships and the growing of a bond that's to never be broken. That is when we realize that everything that brought us to this moment in life was absolutely everything that was needed.
My writings are personal but are a way for me to resolve the unanswered questions during that moment I was within them. My writings allow me to say the unspoken words, release and relieve myself of the doubt, disappointment, and the cutting of my ties with that moment in my time. As I look back now I can't help but smile at the future. There was a time when the days ahead where blurry, even the hours ahead were in a fog, but yet the resilience to continue to want to learn about the conditions and types of love and creating the environment within myself to not hold a grudge and to never ever go back when the path ahead was obviously pointing forward.
Another life nugget is just knowing that you're able to simply hear your spirit move within. Your silence to life distractions and intentionally ignoring that distinct stomach or AHA sensation within that is letting you know something needs to change. When you decide that listening to your created silence with the backdrop of trying times and a world ablaze no longer greets you. The heard inhalation and exhalation of your breath. The sensation of your body collapsing into a self-created bliss and finally giving in to the natural sensations of life, love and your own individual pursuit of what makes you happy. It is then you knew what love is.
So I will continue to drop memorable life and love hacks and notes and resolve some of the relationship mysteries, but I will honor the love I am sharing with my partner who wholly honors me as a woman, as a partner, as a friend, as a confident, as a lover and spiritual connection. The love within myself was like a guiding beam which he found. We have similarities and differences that bring us together. We also share the vision that we believe in a love that is to be tested by life experiences and daily living happenings but never doubted by inner corruption, self-doubting and defeating thoughts, and allowing the influences of negative people or entities to define us. We have crossed many lifelines, but now we have come to the moment when we know we are everything we need. No outside interruptions, no self-doubting or deprecating thoughts. The unique and genuine development of a lasting love based on inner faith, life experiences, and allowing life to catch up and allow you to be ready.
