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Showing posts from December, 2010

Dreaming of and about YOU……

Putting in place our goals, inner desires and most prominent needs and wants; appears to be the appeal for the start of a new year. I challenge myself to dream a lot more. Experience and feel all, all that is meant to be received. I will not put in place or plan any experiences, or negative moments and people that are not a part of my higher plan and mission. The mission and long term plan is of having that relationship that isn’t exactly perfect, but it closely resembles perfection. The experience of a partner who acknowledge and listens to you. A partner that knows your likes, dislikes and maybe’s. A partner who is physically, mentally, sexually, spiritually, verbally engaged by you (and vice versa), that there is no other someone, moment or experience wanted, needed or questioned for. To awake to your best friends, confidant, lover and loved one is all everyone needs in this ever changing thing called life.

Turning point……..
So putting in place an image of the most sought after love…

When the all smoke is clear and the signs are to be seen……..

No matter how much you tell yourself something is not a good idea, fit, look, want, need and desire for you; we are still left with heart circled eyes and an inkling of hope or desire for the situation to amend itself before it heads further down the drain. The situation could be an assumed more than friends’ relationship. Yeah you two mutually like each other, however, it‘s more one sided than ever. Or perhaps you notice your personal scheduled has become seriously busy and occupied, and it continues to prevent meet ups and dates from occurring from time to time with your lover. However, a consistent doldrums’ of your lover’s tone of busy all the time further inclines me to let it stray. GO and be done with already feelings!
The meager attempts to occupy your time and refrain from the messages and calls and any form of contact with your in question subject of attention and desire, you find yourself thinking of being with them, and missing the smallest thing about them. There scent im…

Remember a time………

The late night calls and text messages I use to wait for. When I didn’t get a response or reply from my significant other I was jonesing for, I would text you. Not call, or inquire about how your day was or what you were up to for the evening, but call for where you were sleeping at for the night. I would not reach out or want to know anything further than how much and well you would receive and please me. You meant no more to me then the numerous missed calls with your name ever so present as the identifiable caller. My day would go so bad and end up so long. The evenings stress progressed into my nights stress, but one text and send button press and you were there. How I loved laying down and looking at my ceiling wondering “Should I shower and even give him the glam time, or should I just spruce it up”. Mad with hurt and anger from my disappointing romantic interests responses, sardonic and even mischievously pleased with your quick reply. Oh How I love attention……
As I wrote this p…

Knowing exactly what you want……

Having the ability to identify your wants, needs and desires is an amazing feat. I say this because not too long ago I knew what I wanted to have in my life, in regards to a prospective mate and life partner; however, I went about the assumed process the wrong way. One will never change their individual wants and needs and desires if we choose to settle for less then what we bargained for. I always hear that it’s best to be in a relationship regardless of all the circumstantial evidence of why this relationship really is a hazard for you. We are pushed by our friends relationships be it dating, married or the assumed on/off love marathons. We visually ingest all of societies assumed reasons for why we need to have a relationship. Singlehood and for that matter single life is deemed an unhappy time and experience in one’s life. So we gravitate to anyone who fits our most basic needs. We glide to anyone who looks at us with a smile. A simple wink and acknowledgement is all we need to ca…

Fresh face, best foot and self forward….

The energy and time we spend getting all dolled up and designed and perfumed down for a first date, should be the same energy we carry into our everyday getting up routine and experience. Today as I awoke I thanked everyone for the beautiful chilly AM, and for the ability to see another day to transform me. As I got up from bed I noticed that the shower water was not as warm as I would have liked. I could have easily skipped the shower (quick wash up) and put anything on and made my way out and about to work, however, I decided to make the best of this situation. I imagined I was out in the Rockies in the midst of the winter season. I imagined I was washing up in the coldest river ever. As I began washing and cleansing my body from the night sleep, I envisioned your eyes on me. I felt your touch and lips on my cheek to my neck, down my side and gently kissing the indent of my hips to pelvic bone. Hmmmm……. What a way to break the actual feeling of the cool water on my warm to hot skin!…

Trust in YOU

Familiarity with situations……

So as times progresses and changes and situations increase or decrease, I am paying so much more attention to matters at hand. First and foremost I am learning more about me, and my needs and personal wants and desires. I am learning to enjoy my own company and sit still with me. Anxiety and paranoia at times seeps into the mind. Why? Being so comforted and content and set in a way that completes me so brings up worry in the areas of you. Will I be able to accept you in my life? Am I willing to accept you in my solitude of times and state? Will I revert back to old ways of thinking? Will I lose me? I have worked so hard to sustain myself. I have worked even harder with acknowledging myself worth and also love for myself. Once these gray clouds starts treading into my mind, I become anxious and nervous all at once. I think about the maturity, and the self success that I am experiencing. I am finally accepting former faults and failures with open arms and a …