Remember a time………

The late night calls and text messages I use to wait for. When I didn’t get a response or reply from my significant other I was jonesing for, I would text you. Not call, or inquire about how your day was or what you were up to for the evening, but call for where you were sleeping at for the night. I would not reach out or want to know anything further than how much and well you would receive and please me. You meant no more to me then the numerous missed calls with your name ever so present as the identifiable caller. My day would go so bad and end up so long. The evenings stress progressed into my nights stress, but one text and send button press and you were there. How I loved laying down and looking at my ceiling wondering “Should I shower and even give him the glam time, or should I just spruce it up”. Mad with hurt and anger from my disappointing romantic interests responses, sardonic and even mischievously pleased with your quick reply. Oh How I love attention……
As I wrote this passage I could not help but see the progress and self changes and transitions I have made. Not only do I see my coping skills, but I see the vicious cycle of healing the pain and dealing with the hurt. I see the girl I was and embrace the woman I have become. I have not given up on passion, but my response towards passion, love and affections have changed. Increased are my feelings and awareness of self love. Reading this passage, I could only see the anger, disgust and upset I was feeling for my once assumed in control situation. When I hurt I mended it with lusty passion. I cooled the heat of my emotions and temperaments. Instead of recognizing a chance to grow and develop and learn from my specific situation, I chose to isolate and numb the pain.

Getting back at someone and being bitter will never resolve the incident and issue that occurred between you and them. Life at times throws wrenches into the kool aid mix, so we get lost with a purplish drink, with a rusty backwash tang. Tire do we become of the mindless and endless games. When will you learn to let it be and let it go? When will you cease the fighting and mindless moments, where you are left hurting more? When will you take responsibility and accountability for your reactions and actions in life? I have glanced, looked back and frame all of the hurts and moments of anger and simply uncontrollable rages. I have forgiven, and kindly forgotten these moments and moved right along. Tired of the stunted growth and movement. I am ready. I am ready.

Lesson Thirty Three: Take your time….
Finding forever is like finding right now. You aren’t missing anything any second less or later. A minute lost is a minute gained. A lesson learned is a life goal and value increased. Chances are we wrote all the hurts, slights and moments into our lives. It is now time to unravel the folds and deal with them. Take your time.


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