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Showing posts from February, 2011

Am I letting ME go………..

Waiting in the wind, just letting the summery breeze pass me by, I see a smile, a charming face and I linger towards his touch, and teasing taste. I smell his aroused scent, and I am overly stimulated and battling my raging emotions and control. Emotions and control that I have kept in check for so long. I then begin to think about all the nights and days where I reasoned with myself, and counseled myself on behavior and curbing my sexual desires and appetite that appears to start with a huge bam and then filters into a less than desirable fizz. I wonder if all those self talks I gave myself in the bathroom will shine through. I wonder if all the days and nights I laid in bed praying for the acceptance of sexual decline, and also a dropped libido and sex drive, however, none of that prevailed and my mind set quickly changed into who you are, and how are you pleasuring me tonight? As I steadied myself, and began causally walking towards the man of my dreams my inner thighs began clinch…

What makes your eyes open in the morning?

So it appears as if everyone former friend, lover, midnight call, half way thought, attempt of interest -appears to be coming all forward towards me; and do I even stop and think about why their presence and need to rekindle anything resembling a relationship with me once again? I guess clearing out all of my closets, my go to relationships and my lusty and holding on dreams for him to return to me perhaps opened the flood gates for all to tackle me. I ask myself constantly do I want this occurrence. The changes associated with single life and living, and also, the changes associated with dating and relating with others. No one male focus or interest, but several focuses and interests. Am I built for the many emotions and styles and changes? Or charting my male production in coded words and happenings. Ah, Mr. Monday appeared, now on to a dinner date with Mr. Thursday. Mr. Wednesday and Mr. Saturday are over night specials, and boy that Mr. Friday surely knows how to make a girl swoon…

Yes! I know this

So many changes have occured in a span of two weeks time. I have realized that you are never going to accept fate, and I can no longer be your divine interceptor of reasoning. I have also learned the importance of appreciating the ability to pack and get away, however, at what cost and circumstances? During my exit I realized two things; never allow someone (male or female) to treat you less then expected. If your expectations are running high, and you are looking forward to something and it goes as unplanned and stressful as ever, learn your lesson and move right along. The second lesson learned is accepting physical attraction only. I can not move or stir you into a romantic someone. I can not even get you from being so boring and tight, As hard as that must be to express and explain to someone, I know deep down inside nothing will improve or change things (you) from being you. Only change will occur is when I move forward and walk right out of your life. At this rate that is the be…

Leap of faith, loins of fire……..

I needed you. I needed to feel alive again. I needed to connect to someone other than HIM. I needed to feel that I was truly at one with someone. I needed to have you embrace my body like it’s never been embraced before. I needed this time and experience to push me from the sexually self imposed life doldrums. As I kissed you passionately, caressed your body, loved on your body like never before, I hope you know you saved me. Salvaged a jaded heart from the ashes of loves fire storms. I felt as if I was a gift to you, but in essence you were a pleasing, appealing and amazing life line and package for me. You allowed me to physically see the amazement in my heart, my mind and body. I felt as if I was candy to your sweet tooth. I felt as if the night would never end. I climaxed so hard I erased all the memories and negative moments and feelings of others from my mind and blackened heart. You saved me…….I thank you.

Lesson Forty Five: Say Hello…..Say Good Bye and Thank You.
So you closed …

So you really want to take me there……..

You really want me to fall all over you? You really want me to stumble and fall and trip ever so easily over the lingering feelings of and about you? You really have my mind going. At times I wonder how my mind and heart continues to linger on you. How endless nights I think of and dream about you. I want you so badly to the point of exhaustion. I am tired of these nights. I am reckless in my dreams and thoughts of you. I am uninhibited to the point of no return. I am willing to attempt to try for you, and with you. My best attempts will be spent on you……..So I awake and find myself wiping the sweat off my face. I slide my legs from my covers and place both feet on the floor. I stare up at the ceiling and say “Ah another night without you”, So I stand up and walk towards to my bathroom and rinse my face and towel dry my lost night of passion and simply being enchanted and embraced by you.
Revelations……
Are you telling me something? Are you really telling me something? This most recent …

I can't...I just...I can't..........

A stir of past and presents echo’s. I am drawn to you like a magnet, however, I am not as disillusioned as once assumed and at times once believed. I have no idea how you can be such a narcotic for me, when I don’t see you anymore. I long to get rid of your image and imprint on and inside of me, but I just can’t and don’t want to let go. Even though I am not a priority, I am not entirely forgotten to you. I have no idea in regards to relationships what is best expected first or second place to an almost mute figment of my romantic imagination?

Hormonal or plain horny?
The feelings of being caressed touched in all of your prone spots of instant arousal; to sloppy and sexy kisses to be taken and stolen. Sitting aside, on top, in front and next to you is all I think about. It’s gotten to the point of accidental celibacy. Accidental in regards to my sex drive being limited and even nonexistent. I personally deem myself a sexually inquisitive and rambunctious character at times, when engage…

Rear View Mirror

Relationships are extremely delicate and fragile. The constant change and transitions are mind boggling, and at times a whirl wind on the mind and heart. My Sunday morning comes from thinking of and about you. I want you more and more. I am going above and beyond to get just a little more from you. The little more will never be enough to satisfy me, but it’s just enough to hold me. I don’t want to be held, I want to be cradled by you. I desire for you, and wish on to you to come to me. Take me away from my dreamed filled nights of no passions, or assumed passions from another that are lack luster and leave me cold inside and outside. I continue to ask myself why you, and why am I feeling so much towards you and for you? You showed me some things about yourself that reeled me in from day one. You opened your arms and embraced me whole. I never felt so safe and secure. Your height to my height was enough to make me cradle my head to your chest and know that everything will be well. You…