Sitting in your feelings: Allowing the emotional waves to touch your toes

I have been going through my most recent thoughts about how we (I) see an individual that interests me, and why (I) should remain calm and in control of myself and emotional set to learn further about the feelings that I have encountered and allowed to seep within.

 The Moment it all made sense

I am amused at the moments when I would get into a fit and become upset when something I was awaiting with that special someone fell through. I never allowed myself to really think about the external factors as to why whatever that was to occur wasn’t going to happen and how to peel my sensitive self from the floorboard and get right on up.

 The Bloggers Gripe

Through out the five years of blogging the emotional upheavals and the downsides of wanting love and wondering about how when in love and dating different personalities one could control and conduct themselves in a way that was almost like an aura beam and centering factor that allowed you to feel, personalize and live through the moment and experience, but intimately release it’s negative ties and holds and after effects on you and resume normalcy.

The now

I can have dinner with someone from my past and neither personalize their wrongs, or highlight my wrongs. I can see them in a friendly light and begin a connective newly sought after friendship that will allow us continued conversations, peaked interests and mutual friendly interest and respect. I can receive that clouded text message of misguided intent and neither receive it in a way that upset me, but receive it in a way that allowed me to see why your message was sent and received by me as so…and how am I moving forward and going along with the message received, but not holding onto for longer than necessary.

Communicative factor

Within this emotional comfort and ease with my feelings and words, I have discovered that I can address my wants and needs openly even when I fear the reaction and response from my intended receiver.  There is no answers in fears-

I listen
I question
I hear
I receive
I analyze
I embrace
I love
I let go
I love
Life continues

I LOVE

Setting the tone: The Love Experience

When I was in doubt and lost for words I would search for that significant feeling within my emotional set that would allow me to believe that there was something happening within me, that there was literally a steady movement of emotions that led me to be exactly where I am now. That set of feelings that allowed me to enter the present realm and mindset of MY NOW

Facing forward…

The gift of friendship shouldn’t come within confines of control, rules and unwritten codes. The ability to genuinely state the testament of your love for one another should suffice. What I am learning is that love is amazing and has no strings attached to it at all. Just waiting for someone to give you back the gift that you so willingly and continually give with no expectations, is the wait of an eternity; and with this knowledge I learned that simply sending waves of unexpected love, unexpected intentions of the best of and most sought after unexpected happiness matters the most. 

These lessons were figurative but destined arrivals within my journey and for these lessons have been graced with gratitude.

The connective people that currently wave my heartstrings have gathered many life lessons and deep understandings with them and I must acknowledge them even though there were in past or present reference.

PAST

A love whose schedule is neither suiting or welcoming to my own individual schedule, but the memory of the beauty of that summer still remains prevalent and important to me as I close my eyes and allow the sun kissed beams to take me back to that moment in the park where we sat and talked and believed that what we were experiencing was exactly a De Ja Vu, not knowing that summer would come to a close and so would the comforting confines of our closeness.

PRESENT

A kindred spirit and like-minded soul, whose openness and welcoming laugh centered me, in his absence I felt deeply of a connective spirit in which I felt at home and ease. What was not being said amongst us was silently said between us and oddly we had already known what was being said. When he hugged me as an amazing night came to end I felt as if his hug was centered on two things, not ever letting me go and then letting me know that he too had felt what was openly illustrated during our most intimate night of chit chat and unlimited laughter. His deep-set chocolate eyes reminded me of tomorrow.

When I think about everyone that has played a part in my resistance at times and acceptance of my unconditioned heart I am currently in the present moment experiencing the acceptance of it all. It’s major…and it’s movement within my soul!

So currently as I decided to take time to myself and for my most vivid and major life happenings, I took time to recollect my love happenings and not be afraid to explore the different levels of love within my life, for I was seeing love as one sided, the love that is depicted within a major motion film or written within the 259 pages of a novel written bliss. I decided to make mention of a love that was in passing and not in bloom, or the love that was meant to be framed for the limited time is was to exist. I am not in fear of that love that was only for today and had never made it to my tomorrow, because it has prepared me for what is to become and presently speaking I am comforted in that fact.

No limitations or expectations Cloud9: Contentment within the Quality and Courtesy if an overall experience.

The human emotions and psyche closely resembles guarded gates of unknown happenings until one enters pass these gates and begins to proceed forward…

Here I am!

Standing within these formerly guarded gates with a sense of optimism and hope and a sense of daring to dream and continue on dreaming until I have arrived at the destination that I needed to be at.

Life continues to be the blackboard for development and growth for me. I have learned that when interested in something in particular I can become quite the visual daydreamer, and make dreamed of moments matter mostly rather than the reality of it all.

The safety of thinking and over analyzing and coming to some sort of conclusion all on your own excludes the other persons interactions with you on that particular issue, and also, you become your very own champion and cheerleader, believing that what you dream up is in fact an uncontested truth…

record scratches and everything gets tossed up!

That is not a reality and in fact it’s the demise of the development of anything with anyone or allowing you to make a concise decision about something can now be retrieved from the garbage.

What I am seeing is that whenever you have a question, an interest or that burning desire to simply know something, you can pose the questions within your own mind and prepare yourself for the delivery of your question, but don’t expect an outcome or prepare yourself for an answer you have no idea what it will be.

So whenever I have the urge to simply visualize something and translate that something into more than anything beyond it’s current reality I stop myself and bring everything right back into the present moment. These feelings have become the precursor for challenge to myself to no longer experience surface relationships, to act out of courtesy, but emotionally responsible. To be sensitive and responsive  and considerate whenever addressing
anyone opposite of my own self and needs.

Allowing myself to be centered and in control of my own self, but accessible to another person’s emotional make up and sense of themsleves is what will allow emotional intimacy, shared vulnerabilities and openness to enter.