Showing posts from 2018

The maintenance of self and the restraint within the levels of love.

His smile is engaging and his personality and instant aura compels me to deepen the conversation wanting to hear just a little more from him. Instantly attracted to him my smile deepens with just knowing this intricate detail that I will hold only to myself. I will not reveal to him my level of interest, because I am not entirely sure where this relationship will be heading, but what I do know is that at this very moment in time I am allowing myself to experience the instant lusty rush of interest that's being entertained with the potential and possibility of the what if's scenarios that's ringing all throughout my head. I allow myself to bask in the interest and overt physical attraction addressing each individual need, passion and desire I want of him...

I'm laughing to myself as I write this. The fear of going over the edge with interest never came over me, prior behaviors, reactions and responses to stimulations of such didn't even phase me. I actually opened …

Goodbye, Hello: Dedicating this to the one I loved

This was the year 2018 whereas I had love for you. This was he year  of 2018's life when I would have absolutely done anything to maintain our oneness and "love" so I thought. There was a moment in time when my dreams revolved around the combination of me and you and our betterment and long term, but the reality of this dream cast me solidly on the harden ground and flat on my face. My head ached, my belly hurt and my eyes could no longer control the flow of tears that has trailed my cheeks for the past few months. I was no longer in recognition of me and who I had become and as I slowly looked into the mirror I struggled to regain my composure and move right along initially. It was until I realized that my image that was before me daily cast in it's deepest shadows was never going to be me. My hurt was deep and pained me so, but it was the initial bruise that had cast itself upon me, and would be temporary and passing for sure the more I realized that we was never…

Within my battle I saw the Olive Branch: I do-

The bravery in love comes from it's deepest and darkened corner of life. What I am seeing within myself is a love that has no bounds, a love that is desired for and sought after it's most weakened state. The mind is in a state of suspended love when it's conflicted, and within it's animation its absolute resolve permeates in my soul.
Past patterns of dealing with discomfort within love was a simple testament as to how to go about the newly formed pang of the heart. However, my former lessons to heal didn't necessarily work for me. I was neither eager to seek the affection and attention of another lusting soul, nor was I entirely enticed to throw myself entirely into the game of love!
My healing came from expanding my mind and restoring my balance in a meditative state and through the movement and motion of yoga poses. Within my deepest stretch I realized my love was like no other for him. My love was simply in a bind that needed to unravel naturally, and with each…

Lips licked: Babe

I want no held hands, no locked stares or connective caresses that beg for you to question me anymore. I don't want gentle kisses, I want my lips to be broken into, as your thieving tongue becomes the knife to my aching legs that slowly begin to part. I want you inside of me. I.WANT.YOU.INSIDE.OF.ME....I can't control the emotions that have left my thoughts and wavered all the way down the middle of my body as intense lust and deepened emotions drain even more to pool between my already dampened thighs...Laying my head all the way back and allowing you to center yourself in the midst and middle of me as we become a uniformed movement of ever so deepened thrusts.

He is more than extended months clipping a year. He has become a valued person within my life, which equals our shared time. The differences that have mounted next to us individually have not overwhelmed us, and for that I have become humble and super appreciative of you and me and our time together as we grow in stre…

It has always been you: The Fact Is I Need You

The emotional ties that I have with you has reached it's the upper echelon of no turning back, and in knowing this aspect of the connective ties that we share; just yesterday everything was put in perspective for me. I take nothing for granted and even in the midst of lost translation as we communicate strifes and difficulties the reality of this situation has reaffirmed my admiration and continued love for you.

It's my yearning to perfect this newly shared experience on life, and love and everything in between. I have always held an interest in the mythical maintained relationship via main stream outlet examples; but yet I did not have the opportunity to truly grow in the midst of a marked and expected relationship. I continued to dream independently in hopes that one day I would meet my significant other and know exactly what to do when he arrived, but yet everything I am doing and saying has come with strife and at times not a sense of mass appeal, but misunderstanding and…

It's YOU!

I still haven't given up on dating and relating and ideally finding the life match for me. I have come across a few that have left impressions on my heart to having someone who dipped briefly into my heart, but yet he was too shallow and weak for my love. It has literally become it's not me it's a you type situation, and oddly the annoyance bells aren't ringing in my ears just yet. I had my misty eyed moment, a big glass of merlot and a music rotation that will master all emotions that are in question...and I have come out OK and stronger than before and realizing that I am everything that I would want and need and that I am enough and in no need for anyones addition into my life if they are coming with dead weight and toxicity.

We are not alive to be annoyed, bickering or belittling one another because we are inept and inebriated at the moment. The reality of this situation is when you trust your emotional curves, and you allow all logic to hit the road and your feet…
I welcome his loving embrace. I welcome his unconditioned love. I dare give my day and nights to him. The love created liberated me. The love resolved within my heart has settled deeply into my soul, affording me comfort in my new role within our lives. I have adjusted to the sways of a best friend, a lover, a caretaker and home maker in preparation of furtherance of us. I delved into the recess of my heart and invoked forgiven passion befallen on me. I no longer looked at my past as betrayal ridden and stolen moments of misrepresented passion.

There was always hope. My now was never a figment of my imagination. I have triumphed over dreams that made no sense to me until now. I am stepping forward and daring to dream. I believe that our connection and roles in one another lives was meant to be, and so I am being. I am existing. We are living and cultivating our distinct lives in unison. We no longer fear or doubt others, we embrace our roles and willingly walk towards our destination…