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Showing posts from October, 2010

Opening Doors-

Building Blocks of Life……

So here I am again starting to rediscover me. Times have been fairly tough; however, I have excelled and made it through. I continue to revisit the past experiences, not necessarily out of want, but a desire to know these experiences much better and personally. I have decided that uncovering the pain and raw emotions will allow understanding of patterns and past ways and behaviors to be released, acknowledged and healed. There is nothing I want more than to know where and how I went right and left, and why I chose these paths. I want to know my behavior and embrace it. I am allowing myself to take responsibility for all of my actions. I am allowing myself to further embrace ME! So far I have learned that I have a lot more strength and courage then I previously assumed. I also am more accepting and not overly critical of myself and the choices I have made. Each experience I have received is laid out before me in my journal entries and writings. I am blessed to …

Like the Phoenix I too have risen-

Hello My Name is…….

So it’s as if you are starting all over and fresh to the world. It’s as if everything that you once knew, no longer is familiar to you. It is as if everything is wiped clean and clear of all. These feeling and many more feelings that would creep up within me, would overwhelm me and drown me in my own personal sorrows. I would then dwell on the past, all the slights and the hurts and go through the many stages of anger to depression. Seemingly, my weekday and weekends would appear to be uneventful and something I was not looking forward to. Conversations with family and friends, would no longer fill the void and hold the interest as once before. A deep void and dread would overcome me……..It seemed as life would never get better, but it did. Life has become an empty canvas. I am painting each day and life lessons into my canvas. Loving life and appreciating my life more. I value my time, and also, each person and experience as never before. No longer am I fixated on …

A calming point.......

When it's all said and done......


Realizing that all the energy I put into wanting to get to know you, and care additionally about you; I soon began realizing that I am wasting time and much needed life air. So when it was all said and done for me, I soon began releasing you from my system. A passion of mine to experience and go through and do, whenever I am stressed out or in a whale of a mood- is my journal writing and reading. Reading takes me to places I have never dared to venture. I am exposed to the circumstances of my author and the characters I choose to inquire about. During this time, I’d say a week, then two weeks and now almost three weeks; I have not engaged in any harmful (lusting after you, calling you or texting you continually) activities. I continually dream about you, touching, tasting and teasing you, but I instantly awake and reality comes into full exposure. So this is what it means and feels like in regards to a physical detox. A cleansing of the body, but a…