Posts

Showing posts from March, 2011

Does my love for you not justify anything?

Time and time again I see myself swallowed into a ball of flames. You light my strings and watch me wither away in a redden cloud of pain. I continue to test and temp fate and faith, knowingly that the end is near. Never before have I placed myself out towards someone so many times. I thought I had enough strength and persistence to work myself through. I thought I could possibly mend my melted heart into something solid and consistent, but it appears not to be going as perfected and planned. You allow me to be intoxicated by your sex appeal. Your style and male donned out over all official state has captivated me. Your swagger and appeal is something to be reckoned with. Your glint in your eyes, and dimpled cheeks, to your masculine height and width and manly size. Just you and everything about you has continued to bring me to my knees. I sit down and think about all of my individual wants and needs that perhaps you will never satisfy. As temporary in your life you view me, I must de…

Should have, could have, would have, but do I?

Entertaining several thoughts here…..The major thought running through my mind is embracing you. Two and a half years of longing for someone who’s deemed “untouchable” do to their situational occurrences, but I have nothing standing in my way. Perhaps common courtesy and mutual respect for another’s life situation and regard for their life situation should remain a major factor in my case; however, I have totally caught the case of “Why should I care about your situation?” When I think about being concerned about the all too illusive “what ifs”, I say to myself if I can’t erase his memory. I don’t want to erase his memory, and if I could sample just want taste and touch of him, why shouldn’t I? Since when did I become so conscious and self restrictive and overly concerned with how others are received by me? I am not saying be entirely careless and live your life at a Charlie Sheen whim, however, what I am saying is that there are times in your life when a person, situation, relationsh…

Guiding others……

When you are hurting and wondering about all of your things you are experiencing and going through, there is always someone else facing the same situation as you. Instead of turning within we reach out and guide others. As I listened to my friend’s pains, I could not help but become nostalgic and turn inwards briefly to think about my situational occurrences I have experienced. I noted that communication and being up front and open with someone is the key ingredient in a successful relationship. Your ability to see outside yourself, and enter into someone’s life and their situations remains a major factor in accepting someone and yourself in a partnership. Turning inward again I questioned myself…..The state of balance, and also, the state of maintaining my own personal nerves and sanity remains with me only. I am not as eager and ready to transition and share with someone else. Although we cannot stop our emotional connections and attractions to and for others, however, we can learn …

This is for you….and you… and you too!

In closing I hope you regard this statement with the highest notations. I am not the easy person to get along with. I am wayward in many of my ways and experiences, and yes I go from being super hot to Luke warm to freezing in regards to my mind set and focus. My intent and relationship intentions may have not been as clear and concise as you wanted them to be, but what about your ideas and thoughts on our relationships. As opinionated and open as you are about my down falls in life, let’s regard your moments…..hmmm I can start a list and continue to talk on about them, however, how beneficial would that be? Who’s gaining a skill point? In all honesty my intent and motivations in regards to striking it up with you again wasn't as in depth as assumed.I released you the day you left me mouth wide open. I re entered your life with expectations to crush you. Crushing you slowly wilted away and I began to respect you. Never letting go of the former rejection and life slights, I still k…

Life in droplets……..

Ever notice the rain running downside your window pane? Ever notice how often the pitter and pat resides in your mind? The moment the rain droplet slide down, another one forms and so goes a continued pattern. This pattern reminded me of my current state. In constant motion; starting off large and leveling out to splash of life and love. Although nothing in life is routine, everything is meant to be experienced and presented to you in your timely matter of living. Everything we give and receive has the rain run schedule. I call it the rain run schedule, because it’s constant moving and never stagnant at any given moment. At times the rain run may go down slowly, and in the times the pattern is slowed down I believe this brings attention to perhaps the experiences we may need to experience slowly and thoroughly. As painful as times can be, and at moments we may even want to recede into ourselves our burst that rain drop to get on with the splash or life in general, however, we must rem…

Within passion resides a lost you…..

As much as we throw ourselves into others, be it their lives, or their homes or even their bodies; we are constantly at the expenses of someone else. If you have a long day at work, or your home life is too tough or situated to where you aren’t content, who do you call and turn to? Who embraces you for that moment in time when escapism is the key? Who guides you back to normalcy, or provides the mystical moments in disguise of it all. Secretly embracing you and enveloping your stress and at times pain. As I lay my head backwards and look up at your ceiling I only answer with a silent thank you. Thank you for taking your time out to console me. Thank you for taking the time out to let me know that everything and each passing moment spent with you without you will continue to be OK. Getting lost in your passion and kisses and body excites me to the point of forgetting everyone and it all. Do I continue to drink from your waist, neck, inside your thighs, you lips and tongue…….or do I pul…