It's within your exit that has afforded me the ability to reclaim my L.O.V.E

A lover once presented himself to me, and in his presentation he unfolded in so many which of ways that I no longer could tell where he started and where he ended. And so, as my lover transformed before me and his body movements I could no longer mimic, love style and even love language changed up continually, and yet here I remained consistently confused with my impressions received and regenerated from my limited interactions with him and called this love. Deciding to continue to make my most attempts at deciphering his unique love code I no longer felt my feet on the ground, but my body becoming elevated straight on up in the air, as if my decent upward was a shot straight from the arrows of Cupid. These emotions where chemically induced toxicity, which invaded my entire senses and corrupted everything within me. A few days of interest turned into weeks of unrequited passion to months of burgeoning love to the cold hard fast spilt of a passing year gone bad.

This moment in my lifetime afforded me the ability to feel distinctly the discomfort of what could have been a joined union to forget. I struggled and then suffered and then reclaimed my emotional balance. There was a time when I thought I could easily exist within the walls of an unknown relationship, whereas I would go about my regular life routine and social living and happenings without you, but eventually find some time within the thick of the night to lay with you. No recollection of the day past or the day presenting us. No kissing, no unrestrained touches or uncalculated moments that could possibly claim us. The gentle ease of comfort would never be a welcomed emotion, because it was always foreign and loving him was never with ease.

So as our year came to a close, prior to the 365th day we officially ended and in the depths of the spiral that made it’s most attempts at formulating a love depression, I exited a cracking shell and within my emergence my heart continued to beat a rhythmic beat of a story of love that captivated me, and although I was exiting this relationship unchallenged or claimed by any love affects felt from my former flame; I was neither discouraged or disappointed. In fact, I felt loved even more. Realizing that he could neither give me the love I truly desired, because I didn’t even understand what this love resembled, had allowed me to search for it in our departure, and as I searched for it I received it, and in receiving it I saw that a deeply seated love within would always outweigh the love we seek endlessly from our significant others. I no longer would be a gleam of interest in someone else’s eyes, but I would be beam of light that permeated love from within.

It was as if the last days of my relationship was an exit interview, and upon my exit I answered several questions that allowed me to set the tone for my present relationship experience. The love received mirrors the deepened love within myself. As I bond closely to my lover, I realized that everyone else that was vying for my attention never matched my love style, and for this I am proud of  my developing love style, and the man that has captured my heart.

Presently my love style is matched. My kisses are met and clasped between his awaiting lips. His body rests and is relaxed comfortably next to me. We awake and kiss our gratitude for our mutual existence and shared love. We are thankful for yesterday, but reside in the present moment before us. We don’t seek attention, but validate one another as only a lover could. When we part ways to attend to our individual life occurrences we secretly sob in unison of our missed connection, although it’s not broken it fades lightly in distance, but when we become connected once again it’s like a babies first breath.

This recollection of my present reminds me of everything that had existed before, and everything that I had let fade away.

I thank you for your exit, my EX.


  1. Replies
    1. Thank you! A journey that is captured is definitely worth the blog post! <3


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