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Showing posts from July, 2011

Turn back the page...

So on with social newness, and upward mobility acts. Learning to enjoy simple company and amazing entertainment via friends, new friends and as always the lovely family. So decisions and choices have made up my weekday and weekend. I started off with my cleaning of my apartment and recollecting my past week. Sexcapades with a male I assumed I have serious love feelings for, sexcapades with a male whom I have this attraction and annoyance to and for, and lastly the closing of a toxic long distance relationship with an undiagnosed male, who unfortunately can not see the road to perdition, or the light at the end of the tunnel. So effected by his surroundings and childhood, he began damaging his interactions and relationships with others. I questioned myself, why did I stay and indure his sarcasm and mean spirited moments? Why did I allow myself to not see the detriment this particular male, and our on and off again relationship was causing? As always I can honestly say to myself "I…

Another Chapter Read........

It takes reading your life book to truly realize all the pages that have been turned and re read again and again. The book I am creating and authoring all myself. This book I envisioned a lot of changes and transitions and "do overs". So enters a closing of a life chapter that I am finally coming to terms with. Over the past two weeks I have finalized my summer vacation to Barbados with two of my best friends. I have accepted my love for someone I have harvested feelings for, become emotionally attached to in a years time, explored ideas and options and possible relationship thought set with my love interest, however, time and pain and life's reality settled in. I began to stop wanting what just could not happen and occur with him, and I began appreciating the friendship once again. Yes, we are still intimately connected, but it's not as costly as before. Love will always remain, but time has been of essence, and it has not prompted any further happenings, so I relea…

What matters to me the most

In a world where everything appears to be temporary, and easily discarded; I realized several things over my holiday weekend. One, I dislike my current career path and the stagnant feelings I have grown to just deal with, whenever work becomes drama filled with a side of headache and definite annoyance to go! I am not pleased with this sense of ease and accustomed uncomfort. In fact, it took being talked about by a co worker to realize just how easily one is here and gone the next day. Hearing someone describe me in a way that questioned my abilities, integrity and overall work performance, well it just burned my insides and steamed my vision. I decided on this fourth of July Holiday of 2011, independence will not only ring in memory of our nations most ardent and fought for battle of 1776, but independence will ring for me as I begin to renew, search, discover and embrace the person I am yet to fully visualize and be.

Secondary epiphany,my rocky and at times disdain for my love life a…