Nothing more to say: I do these things with love, and Sir I love you.

The connection between us is surreal. At times I feel as if my breath weakens when you aren’t beside me. My mind begins to spin when it’s left to think about the dynamics of this love. I thought that I was a thespian of knowledge in the realm of lovingly do’s in my experiences with relationships, romance and overall projecting what I really am wanting. Well what blew my mind was having the most honest conversation

I’ve ever experienced in my life, and allowing that conversation to settle within myself and not sink the depths of unknown, but to really infiltrate deep within my soul.

I neither questioned this life occurrence because in the midst of our emotional wave I finally felt grounded. My days lengthened and my nights crumbled without you, when I no longer felt the urges to curl my pillows deep into me I finally allowed the thought of you to finally go, but now my respect for you has heightened and my friendship towards you has increased and my love for you has grown stronger. I respect that you aren’t where I would love for you to be, deep inside of me… Intoxicating my mind and soul and allowing room for absolutely nothing more than what we have discovered together.

Heady I am, heavy is my head and in the midst of bloom is my heart; I have nothing but love and adoration for you as I looked deeply into the darkness of another man’s eyes I realized that you was the one who I was entirely myself with. You was the one who completely knew me, you was the one who thrusted the deepest inside of me as my walls snuggled deeply around you. I came in temperaments from heroic to straight hectic. My vision and bond to you continued to increase as I tumbled into a lifetime of ecstasy.

So now, I am here sitting in the middle of my bed still captivated by this moment that has defined me. It has encircled my heart with the love even deeper for you in the midst of being in another’s arms. I still feel you and desire you and deeply LOVE YOU.

Perspectives: I Desire You

I felt a sense of ease and comfort. I feel as if I've known you for the longest time, within the shortest of times. I feel as if I don't doubt or question you, because there is something entirely different about you. Last night as I was enroute home, I could have easily eased my car in the direction of home, but I decided to let the night's darkened skies lead the way, and so as I made my way to you I had not a drop of nervousness or fear. I was heading in the right direction. I was heading home.

My mind was made up, and so was my heart. I was neither sinking or swimming I was floating with no cares looking at the endless nights skyline. As I made my way towards your door a sense of awareness came over me. I was exactly where I was supposed to be, and just as you opened your door and guideded me in I felt welcomed. I laid my eyes on you and really started to look at you. I was impressed and interested all at once. I felt the passion and persistence of interest leap over me. I could say I've never experienced a sense of stillness and peace within my world of lust, likeness and interest until I experienced you, and I want to thank you for sharing your time with me.

I have been looking and learning others, but never valuing the time spent, messages sent and the in between experienced within a new formed union. I had no expectations with neither one of them. I had held a general interest, but a longed for lusting towards whomever I had identified at the time, was short lived. I craved more and assumed that it would eventually lead to everything I had longed for, but it never did. I was saddened and really blown away by the missed opportunities and longed for experiences that would never bloom into anything more. My responses slowed, and my reactions dimmed. I was neither interested or invested any longer so the ease of my longed for lovers and interactions lessened.

Then there is the inevitable possibility of you, and I welcome your entry into my world. I didn't need the corners of my eyes to stare at you, I simply was captivated by looking over you. I felt a sense of ease into my emotions of interest as I want for you swept over me and took me away into a world that I've always dreamed of. 

Passion, Desire and an absolute love. 

Believe me, because I believe in you...

I wonder if you think of me just as much as I think of you? Do you take time out of your day just to wonder what I had experienced during the day? I wonder if I told you how many times I dreamed of you day and night...how many times I watched you walk towards me, embrace me deeply and kiss me passionately never to let me go and always keeping me so close to you that I would never leave.

This poem came from the top of my heart. Everything had flowed smoothly, from my interaction with you and my initial meeting with you. I could have asked for just a little more, but I didn't want to be overwhelmed with the initial processing of newly "in interest" time. I bypassed you for awhile, because my eyes and my mind was dimly lit on one, but our time together shortly phased out. I wasn't broken from our departure, in fact I was assured that I learned a powerful lesson from our brief link up. I know what I want. I am learning what I desire and deserve regarding a relationship and overall experience with my prospective mate, and so these journeys in the realm of longing and love continues. I will not stop just because he no longer suited me. I will not falter in my quest on experiencing a true love.

So do I fantasize about you? Do you become a pending dream that's never ending, because I don't want to let you go just yet. If I break this dream then nothing will make sense and all that I loved for and wanted for will cease to exist...

I don't know what it is about you that allows me to feel the need to pursue you, but I'm wanting you, but I can tell that there's something in your eyes that tells me you can't ever belong to me and I'm needing to know why...but it's within this mystery that I wanted to know. I want to be wrong, but am I right?

The Art of Detachment: What I know for sure...

The art of detachment is simply an art. To be secure in the fact of separation of yourself from everything that is around you encourages you to not only detach yourself from all situations, but to absolutely experience each moment as they come and to simply let go of these experiences with ease and grace and recall everything within memory and time. As I am recalling each memory and moment I am not holding no connective ties to these experiences. I am simply releasing them as they come and soon go…

The hardest thing for me to do is experience an emotion and to ride the wave of experience with the emotion and to simply let it go. To be amid your highest peak and then let it bottom line to a distant memory is a definite change that is taking me some time to get used to. I started this transitional thinking as of recent and the concept is easy to understand and potentially emotionally healing to begin with, but when applying this to my daily life I instantly felt a sudden shift from comfort to discomfort and immediate attention to clarify the rapid emotions that began to bubble up for me. It was super intensive and insane all at once. I started to question my relationships and most current interaction with a significant other. How could you learn to love and then simply let it all go? How could you be physically, mentally and spiritually present and then vanish right before someone’s eye? If you allow someone to become mentally intimate and vulnerable to you, how could you create distance and space as if this connectivity was never established?

There are so many questions, and now I don’t have the answers to any of these questions. But what I know for sure is that being present in the moment does not mean being dismissive or uncaring and shutting yourself off cold after the interaction. It doesn’t mean cutting people off short from where they stand so they don’t get too attached to you, or opening them up and emptying their souls before you and not being responsive towards the healing that goes with closing these spiritual holes…what I have come to understand in my personal battle with the art of detachment is to simply be present and make no demands on the length of time you are to be in someone’s grace. Your personal space and time for me is a grace and a blessing to share among others, so why create a sense of longevity in a short span of time? Why frustrate yourself with expectations and outcomes when you are simply amid an amazing moment! Now let’s be clear, we must be precise in our words and actions and say what we want to say and mean what we are saying, but we can’t put too much attention and time on the what if’s and the however by short changing the experience.

So, it has literally taking a lot of adjusting and understanding on my part of my own personal expectations of what it is I am wanting. I have narrowed it down to simply wanting a deeper experience within myself, while having the ability to share my experience and compliment my partners experience in an exchange of shared memories, never lost but never lingered on. Always ready for the newest installment of life happenings 101.

Although this has been a reassuring moment and even a down right gut wrenching to the bones experience, I am happy to say emotionally it’s a struggle, from wanting to predict and project everything to simply existing in the shared space, whatever the space may be. I challenge myself to take each day with an act of faith and simply knowing that whatever is for me is for me and it will be, but I can’t cloud my life movements by simply smudging it up with expectations I can’t even make or meet for myself.

**I Do**

So, appeal to your most inner self and take each day in stride and simply live for these moments as they come and as surely as they go.

Renewed Energy in this time with no Space!

You are teaching me more about who you are as a father, a brother and a son. You are guiding me into your world slowly but surely, but within each step you stop and look back as if checking to see if I am still following you. Love has definitely hurt you and caused many emotions for you, emotions that have stung you and imprinted the pain of disappointment and doubt deeply into your psyche, but yet you have maintained a sense of self and balance. You never gave up on love and most importantly you continue to demonstrate your ability to love in your daily. Love leads you and has guided you to be exactly where you need to be. There will never be a doubt in your grand scheme of intimacy, life journeying and venturing out that you are destined for a love beyond your control. You flow so freely and effortlessly that it attracts many, but it has garnered the attention of my heart.

Captivated in your embrace, lost in your soul kisses and taking the time to dig a little deeper with you has encouraged me to absolutely let everything and everyone go. I have had experiences that have lingered on to the point of distaste. When the light lessens and interest levels continue to plummet there is no reason to keep up the act anymore, a curtain call for sure. So as your light and love continues to expand the joy in my world, so are my eyes centered on the energy that comes directly from you and enters into my daily stream of life. I am so grateful for the ability to openly and actively experience love in all forms of interactions with partners who are worthy of an unconditioned love.


As we journey towards the center of our own enlightened love I must tell you my fears with taking on room for another love has never lessened with you, nor has the anxiety of a failed partnership or a joint experience that will amount to absolutely nothing as it slowly grows and fades all the way into the back  has held me back from you.

I am embracing these feelings and emotions and enjoy every experience and aspect of you and me, yours and mine, us and we and togetherness. As close as we have become and deepened all levels of sensation and emotion to it's highest peak I simply want to thank you. For your ability to simply exist in a loveless world.

This time is different…

At this point in life my goal is to never deny myself a rightful love experience. To never forsake my sanity and happiness at the expense of a “what could be”; to allow myself the space and time to go through the throes of life and still invest in me. I have partnered with others who weren’t entirely anything I needed or wanted in life, but still I gave them a chance to show me what exactly this love thing was made of, and well them showing me what possibly could have been was enough for me to kindly exit the relationships and no longer want to experience them with an open heart.

However, life has afforded me many opportunities in life and when dating and relating and I’ve been extremely grateful to say that my love continues to grow and that it’s coming down to I’d say a finale of sorts because now I am centered and my relationship goals are looking entirely different now, and I’m okay with this and the continuation for more.

 Enjoy soul connections. I enjoy the moments of gentle ease and comfort. I enjoy sharing our lives together through joint experiences; and most importantly I simply enjoy the love that has built within me over the missed experiences and disappointment. I can honestly say that it has given me the ability to review missed relationships and moments in the “love come down” castings in life that has given me this moment right now.

#Saythankyou

A lover's bind is a couple's reign...#learning

I never really looked at you until the night I captured your lasting image within my mind. Oh, you was erased from my heart and even was denounced from my soul, but your image would always present itself before me at the slightest conjuring; and right now your image was before me wild and free and all I could do was just stare at the middle of your bald head as you made your best attempts at pleasuring me.

The glean of sweat that was dripping from your already shining head; only gave you more false momentum that your bullshit still worked. Your pre-gamed intoxication and thought of a reconnection and a spark of us once again led you to believe that I had submitted to your way and thoughts about love and how it would eventually bind our broken relationship once again! Little did you know that as I opened my arms to embrace you, and covered your lips with mine I was slowly feeling the cold draft from your dead soul attempting to dance with mine once again, but your cool air was no match for my summer heat. I was not sent on a rekindling mission, or to speak about the break in my heart you attempted to mend with your love for lies and lust for others whom you could maneuver and mend within the palm of your hand and the deepened soulless schemes of your world. I knew better than to allow myself to submit openly to you, in fact all I wanted to do was simply fuck you. I wanted you to open your door and limit the views into your world to just your bed, but yet it was never going to be that simple. We haven't seen one another in months and to be in close contact once again could spell trouble for even the bravest of hearts. Our conversations were never much of anything anymore, that's why it was so easy to block your calls and pointless text messages, but yet I still wanted to tangle in the depths of your brokenness allowing your deadened heart to pull me in if just for one more time.

I was lost for words as I looked at you, eager on listening intently to the stories you started to spew out of your mouth. As you spoke to me I started to think about everything that had drawn me towards you, and everything that had turned my heart and love away from you. I heard each word you spoke as you went on and on about the women you were entertaining and as your phone was buzzing and ringing you laughed about using these women with no regard, but yet hear I was curled up in the middle of your bed having gone past your kitchen and living room looking over everything and seeing that nothing has changed since I last graced your apartment, and most importantly the more you spoke, the louder your phone rings became and text messaged alarms vying for your immediate attention; I started to regret ever giving you an after thought, but this was just a one time thing and a one night stand, right? I wasn't supposed to think any thoughts about you, about us or even the thought that this shared intimate moment was going to cause so many thoughts to occur, like an inevitable chain reaction. The sleepless nights and the moments of heartache that I experienced while with you and once the woes of separation had kicked in, I was starting to develop a deepened feeling that was slowly pulsating within me causing instant regret.

We make mistakes, we take risks and even live within a sense of stunted growth, but as we realize that there comes a time when we must not only let people and situations that no longer serve us fall to the sides, we must take responsibility for our own actions and work within ourselves to come through these situations not defeated or having a sense that your next relationship will mirror this past relationship and that all of your experiences thus far will never amount to anything but romantic tragedy...no amount of Shakespearean romantic woes will ever have my heart beating against an agent of love. Times may be difficult regarding matters of the heart, but as with time and space a great healing will come over us and bless our hearts with peace, love and prosperity once again.




No two situations are alike, and everyone experiences love and life and the pursuit of happiness all to differently, but it's within your own love for yourself that stories as mine will make all too much sense and there will be nothing in the world stopping your love from within to connect and shine brightly with your chosen significant other.


Reign in love, life and the pursuit of all happiness.

**I Love You**