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Showing posts from January, 2011

Heart Interrupted……

Occupying my time and mostly my mind allowed me to not linger so much on you, or even think about you. Of course I would wish you no harm or even for that matter any negative things to occur to you, but I wished you away from me. I wished that our time spent ceased then and there. I wished my fantasies and ideas about love and life and you being a part of that fantasy world would disappear. I finally started believing that with distance and time, all will resume back to normalcy. Minor distractions and attentions to the heart and human psyche practically left me open to interest and intrigue. Your full figure became a shadowy and dimming light. The day dreams ceased, and night wishes ceased. At one point I was happy to be resolving this inner drama within myself, but then the next minute I slowly began to think about our connection. What exactly brings me to you? Opens my mind and heart to your interest and intrigue? I feel as if I would issue you my last, make your favorite meal, wai…

Effective Communication

A new attempt at opening myself up to new experiences, and also, building and framing long lasting experiences, I am venturing out more by effectively communicating. Constantly staying abreast of each other and talking with one another continues to build binding ties that will eventually grow and strengthen. I envisioned myself as a technologically sound communicator. I am in love with any form of instant messaging. I envisioned one’s ability to be able to be receptive to all forms of communication and staying on top of all, however, I never really knew the impersonal impression this form of communicating can have on ones relationships. If I send you a text message, and it follows with your response and then continued communication, you may feel as if everything is going well; however, what you may not notice is the closed connection and experiences you are developing with your receiver. Allowing contact to be controlled by 160 characters tells a lot about your relationship. Writing a…

I think about US

Emotional intimacy…..

Wanting that connection beyond the general understanding and meaning of me and you. I continually look forward to explore everything of and about you. I want to know every little and major thing about you. I want to figure out all your in’s and out’s. I want to listen to your stories, good and bad and welcome you to a life of love. I would love to explore with you the boundaries of a friendship that has transcended into a blossoming relationship. I would love to share and open my world up to you. Being naked to you; in the sense of me offering my most inner self to you. To hug and kiss you to silence. To smile and embrace you after a long and hard days of work. To sit next to you resting my head in your arms and staring up at you settle me. Your fear of loving me, expressing and opening yourself to me holds you away from the peace and solace that you could possibly have. Why must you pull yourself away from me? You deserve to be happy, loved and appreciated. As …

Not turning back.....

I am noticing that we are relating a lot differently lately. Initially I assumed that we hashed everything out upon our last visit. I assumed we were going to make our most passionate attempts at trying. I even dared to think there was going to be a possibility of me and you? Hmmmmmm.....day dreams to night dreams, to times spent waking and looking up for you. I dare say I did get use to the moments and times experienced with you. I did find comfort and safety in your embrace and warmth on those nights. I rested my mind on your arm, embraced within your heart. However, all was well when it started well, but now things are blah. Should I pity anyone or complain? Do I, or would I like to transition things back to what they use to be? I actually had a long shower session with myself and worked everything out. I realized that I am ready for things when I am ready for them. I also realized that although you may care and like someone, even welcome and embrace their company it does not negat…

Enchanted

Do you like to be proven wrong? Or at least shown another route that would benefit you in the long run? I experienced that open ended heart exposure. I was shown a different route in love and life, and well I am not too sure where this path leads, however, my attention and eyes are wide open. I was given an opportunity to explore and expand my mind, while furthering relations that appeared to be unraveled, but at whose end? During the moment of take off and touch down into a sinfully enchanting city, I had time to think about where exactly I wanted “this” relationship to head. If I wanted to challenge my fears and uneasiness and completely get lost into the newness of old comfort and security? With so many questions and thoughts on my mind, one solid answer came before me. This answer basically stated to just enjoy the moment and life experienced and expressed in this moment. So much of our time and life is sacrificed for everyone else, but ourselves. I am willing to take my time for …