Showing posts from November, 2014


I wonder about the state of affairs of the human heart, so jaded by the greed of others that one can become emotionally smothered with disappointment. 

Looking at still pictures and allowing each photograph to tell a detailed story is something the mind easily jumps at, especially if it is the story of a former lover as they have easily transitioned your experience with them out of memory to then place their newly interest as easily and openly as ever before. 
What comes into question is my own judgement and the validation of my heart above all and the experiences my heart decides to take on or easily rule out and forget. I can't help but wonder why my love was never enough to be claimed by their love, but yet to watch them smoothly transition into a newly assigned love, and have left me far and behind I can't help but remain in a stunted stance.
There comes into question many life doubts and questions to mind, but at the end of the day what has to be understood and recognize…

Arrhythmia of Sorts: No Regrets!

Perhaps it's my rain stained window pane, or the cold air that brushes my hair past my eyes or the deep and calming breaths I must take in order to relax and not think about the worst of the thoughts that have crossed my mind. 
Within a day there is so much contact and interaction taking place that even the smallest upset and discomfort can cause a shit storm or emotions and we all know that sitting in on those feelings and not facing them are the safest and best bet as we know it, but then again within each moment of emotional upset experienced there is always a lesson to be learned.
Proving yourself to the one you like can take a nose dive instantly when you aren't exactly sure as to why you are in need for anyone else's approval beyond your very own? Everything you gather and build upon in life should not be stamped out simply because a little emotional love loss is holding you heart in whim. 
I think back to the times when control was a wonderful thing to have and a s…

The heart spills many truths: A break down of the many facets of emotional depth!

I fear nothing and no one but you...

There is this building block model that I recall being taught about in basic psychology. This model was about building experiences and life sequences from the basics of beginnings and allowing everything to be put together in an almost natural occurrence and within stages. So structured and so easy to develop, but yet this model is currently not suiting even my most basic hearts needs at the moment.
So easy to allow someone you absolutely know you have no chance of building any life blocks with to simply simmer into your world, uninhibited you become and easily impressionable and subject to temporary insanity, but when you start developing a friendship with physical and sexual and mental attraction with an entirely different personality and different person you are normally used to attracting you become lost for words and even lost within your own existence. Temporary insanity experienced again? I plead the 5th...

This journey leads me to believe that…

Karmatic Ties: The emotional development and funneling of kismet.

I listen because I want to hear you. I listen because it is apart of getting to know you much better, but as I listen am I looking forward to giving of myself verbally?

It’s a stage and it’s a process I continually tell myself. The deeper you garner the experience the more far-gone you go and the more vulnerability becomes exposed within yourself when you begin to give of yourself.

I still notice that I am holding in, but allowing a little bit of myself to seep through the emotional cracks. The fear of rejection and an unfavored reaction is deeply felt. All I continue to know is that I am simply I, and I must accept the challenges and changes that funnel up from within.

The temptation to be oblivious to what is before me is serious, but what faces me is something that I want to know. It’s with someone that holds my attention and allows me to think about the possibilities of sharing myself and receiving themselves in an exchange of karmatic ties and kismet.

So as this year nears an end …