A Lovers Manifesto: Pieces of a heart left unspoken

When everyone looks as if to be the one, no one else looks to fit the mold. When life continues to pelt you with hard rain, you kindly walk forward and embrace the madness. When songs turn into emotional salves, you can't think of any emotions outside of your pain bubble.

You implode 

Even within reason I must never escape the sure facts and test of time. I am learning there is much more to believe and dream of than ever before. 

I am awaiting to be swept off of my feet, to find a lover like never before who not only embraces me but engulfs me to the point of no return. I need to be swallowed by love whole, to be intocicated to the point of bliss. To neither shed a tear or fear my own demise, out of learned lessons and shattered hearts and moments of simple melt downs. I am to escape all the previous heat by wavering no wars, but simply acknowledging the pasts existence and keeping it as it were...in the past. 

To feel that there simply is something more with someone who neither deems your importance or acknowledges your entries and exits in life is truly a disease of the heart. Antibiotics, religious clarity and physical bluffs of the truth is telling of the emotional retainment... 

 Shaking this feeling is presenting itself as an utter annoyance and continued occurrence. 

I'm having that 2am cry that leads to the 3am melt down to then peak at 5am to realize I must want more for myself and from myself. 

This can't be all 

There is hope in death and damaged dreams. 

The Ending has arrived...and So!

You could have...

Perhaps a well detailed message of your inability to be honest with me in the nearest future would have sufficed. Perhaps my truth in how and why I want you so much has constantly consumed me to the moment of confusion. 

Maybe if I allowed myself to explode all my emotional vengeance onto you, then perhaps I could explain why your disappointments as of recently are no longer justifiable. 

When I recieve any form of communication from you, it strikes a pretty serious chord within me. When I fear a response from you, I dread reading your reply, but yet I know it will be freeing of me to partake in some explanation of why you disappointment me so...

I slept soundly in disappointment, knowing that you could neither be close to me or too distant to me in any realm because we will never exist. "I've got an Elastic Heart!"

The reality of this nothing has pushed me to understand that I must allow a memory to simply fade away, but yet I make small attempts to reclaim your interest, your attention to be idolized as if I am your God or for that matter your world...but yet I am not a cloud in your horizon. I am not a droplet of rain on a leaf, I am neither a rising sun to start your day or a setting sun to capture your evening. 

My importance to you is of none.