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Showing posts from October, 2012

Heart's a Mess.....

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How do you get over someone who you love with someone you like? How do you possibly let go of his mental image and physical connection to you with someone you lust after? Is lust stronger than love?

Having had time to part myself away from the one whom I admired for about a week and half, I ventured into a pseudo romanticized happening. I call it a happening because it literally just happened. Intially me and my new interest was supposed to go out to dinner, however, work schedules and no replies turned into a moody and annoyed me. I decided to go into ignore mode and figure out the rest of my days plans, until Mr. Lust called and inquired as to why was out plans changed? So I gave Mr. Lust a chance and decided to meet him for dinner and conversations and boy was my night highly favored and enjoyed.

I have not enjoyed the company of a man for the duration of the entire night until the wee hours without any sexual content and intimacy levels experienced for a really long time, perhap…

Content in you "Our" world.

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How can you skate through a relationship without even acknowledging it's existence? Passing by a stranger in the street there is of course no formal connection, but passing by your lover, the one you idolize in your most passionate and dearest way; how could that be and how could that even occur? So I sit here thinking about our time we experienced. I think about the jist of the arguments and the moments in time when we go a week or two weeks without even speaking to one another. The build up before the pressure center erupts can all be centered to our issue at hand. The connection, the love, the relationship skirmish by dodging the reality of it all....We love each other. We would not mind being with each other and experiencing one another, but leaving the relationship, experiencing the break up's and perhaps becoming estranged is too unbearable. So we choose to be safe and enjoy our life and experiences amongst ourseleves, but with no definitive ties.

In my most current no…

Like WateR

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Your intentions speak highly of your actions and just exactly how you were going to handle and deal with a particular situation. His intentions was to remain as we were. Two adults physically attracted to one another on so many sexual levels and comfort zones. Two aching adults emotionally intuned, but tuned out towards each other's individual needs. Two adults with seemingly similar wants and interest, but when looked upon each other's needs, passions and desires the disconnect continues to push us further away.

I can not tell you how many times I said I was going to pull myself through these emotional slumps. The little glimpse of hope, development and further progression of us set my heart and mind afire. I pretty much began hoping the fantasies and thoughts of you and us could further spill fourth and come to fruition. I laugh at this now, because in reality my fantasy you was someone beyond you. My fantasy you was everything I sought for you, for us and for the building…