Heart's a Mess.....

How do you get over someone who you love with someone you like? How do you possibly let go of his mental image and physical connection to you with someone you lust after? Is lust stronger than love?

Having had time to part myself away from the one whom I admired for about a week and half, I ventured into a pseudo romanticized happening. I call it a happening because it literally just happened. Intially me and my new interest was supposed to go out to dinner, however, work schedules and no replies turned into a moody and annoyed me. I decided to go into ignore mode and figure out the rest of my days plans, until Mr. Lust called and inquired as to why was out plans changed? So I gave Mr. Lust a chance and decided to meet him for dinner and conversations and boy was my night highly favored and enjoyed.

I have not enjoyed the company of a man for the duration of the entire night until the wee hours without any sexual content and intimacy levels experienced for a really long time, perhaps I could recall this experience back in my pre adolescent and teenage days, but as a woman with womanly needs and no apparent ties to anyone, even the one whom I love; I decided to venture out and experience this night. Endless conversation and simple gestures of calming intimacy to simple pleasures meant not to entice any further oddly satisifed me. Knowing that after hours and within the company of a handsome male your body would probably be liable to engage in just about any and everything, especially when your emotional connections to your loved one is disconnected and you are left vulnerable and waiting for answers that will never be answered from you or him.......but this enticement was blissful and pure with distant promises of more.

So the 24 plus hours spent with Mr Lust literally left me battery charged and aiming for him more and more, but the depth and intensity of my deprivation startled him some. I kind of fell back a bit, wishing that perhaps I wasn't so love wounded and sore for mistreatment from the one I loved. So I fell back in another ball of confusion.

Mr. Love contacts me and reports to me that perhaps I was being non responsive and not communicating that is why he responded and replied to me as such. Did I by the bull shit? Absolutely! We are wounded hearts who respond to love and the ones we love in such a way that begs anyone seeks attentions and affections and love to differ. How could I forget my love on a simple weekend of lusty tendencies?

I question myself......How deep is my love?

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