A union of the mind and a matching of a shared heart.

Each time I close my eyes and think of you I am saddened. So as I open my eyes to new opportunities and venture out to exploring my reasons for emotional intimacy and disconnected feelings and why I am seeing my own personal decline in this area, I can not and will not blame you any longer. I have nutured these supressed feelings for way too long, and I have gathered more than enough personal and educational experience to know that our time has passed.

A dear friend asked me "Why do you fear love? Why do you fear intimacy and that special connection with a significant other? I really couldnt formulate an answer. I actually had to stop and think about the situation at hand. I want love. I think and believe I could handle a supportive and centered loving relationship, but when love is placed before me; I turn coat and run? How could this be? Or perhaps my dating rap sheet at best explains it all......questionable at best and undeniably looking for love in all the wrong places would read the first, middle and last pages. I can raise my hand and admit to dating people who were unattainable in all areas that mattered the most (Mind, Body and Spirit). Eveything appeared off at times, but then again there was something in myself that pushed me to delve further and venture out. Never entirely closing the door on love and those endless possibilities. So with optimism and continued slights in the love department, reality started seeping in, and within my reality I found a few truths.

So this blog entry is affirmation. To my relationships, partnerships and lovingships I expect MORE from my love(r). No longer being dismissive and unsure about love, dating and the transitioned relationship to be formed. A union of the mind and a matching of a shared heart. That is what I long for.

So Be It......


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