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Showing posts from March, 2012

"What do you want to know about me".....Music to my starved ears

You ask for it and you shall receive it......Those are the words that are summing up my current situation. I asked for you to become a better man. I asked for you to take a chance and allow faith and feelings to grow and develop. I asked for you to take a chance on life, on me and on us. I also asked for you to leave my life. To allow me to grow and let everything that has developed and grown amongst us within the two years of knowing you. As hard as letting you go felt, I then began to understand what exactly I was needing and wanting besides you. So an ability to be able to maintain my personal strength and wants and desires has allowed me to be able to become your friend, and as your friend I was able to look more into myself and see where I have gone wrong, and how I was going to correct my slights, misconceptions and mold my future. I let you go, but now you want to come back in?

You was hurt. You was fucked over. Whomever you loved and liked, never loved and liked you back as yo…

Staying committed to change

With Lent rolling in and the observance of this particular Holiday and its sacrificial meaning to all, I have decided to participate in the celebratory holiday, but with new and a defined moment for me. Never before have I become so centered and focused in giving meaning to each measure and moment in my life. Never before have I clearly outlined individual rules and regulations in regards to what I hope to accomplish, and just how am I going to go about accomplishing these goals and task at hand. So my major Lent giving moment was sacrificing the act of sex! Yes SEX! The all-inclusive, perks pushing, benefits humping, orgasmic explosions within all the regions….S.E.X., which made me delve into the meaning and origins of Lent and its ritualistic observance, and then I began questioning myself in order to see how and why I have come to give this act up for the allotted time period……

I realized that my sexual partner (s) present and past weren’t really interested in sex and love, and how …

Each one Teach one

I have come across a lot of interesting self finds. For one I am a people person. I love the connection one gets (ME) when I am involved with people, a cause, or if I can be of some major assistance to someone in regards to getting a need, resource or answer to that impending headache of a question that is blistering on the mind! I realized that I continually write about resolving my romantic woes, which I am not in complaint about or see and issue with, actually I am learning more and more about myself and my individual needs that are not being heard and address, and although I write an overall essay about what I am feeling, going through and expressing it appears as if it’s more and more surface findings and nothing grounding me to continue to discover and dig deeper into my caverns of ME. It’s just when the disappointment comes and hits I am pulled away from my reality. I am pulled away from even fighting to pick up my computer and take aim at what has bothered me, festered or rise…