Where My Eyes Fell.....

My eyes fell onto something entirely new to me. The focus was no longer entirely on vying for information from our exchanges that had held me in a stagnant stance, and left me sifting through the remnants of our compromised relationship to expect anything more.

My eyes fell onto someone who shared similarities and interests as I. Our eyes danced over one another allowing the deepened connection to finally meet, and in our greeting the world appeared to have opened before our very own eyes.

My eyes fell onto somehow, in which I calculated that there was no possibility I could finally feel the sense of common interest, shared values and future developments…I actually began entertaining the possibility of a tomorrow.



My recent experience has spurned the poet in me. I finally have come to a point in my life where I actually feel as if everything has settled before me. The rise in emotions, sensations and concerns all have settled. My ability to just exist and know that everything will occur as warranted and no matter what the outcome is to be I will remain untroubled, uncompromised and just as stronger as can be.

It was a good thing taking a chance.

Life is a dream.

Life is a risk

Take it!

Mutual Beneficial and Lasting.

What was the rush for? Did I really think that everything could just mold and place itself without any work or effort put into it? Could everything be experienced, felt and explained in all one setting? What exactly was I expecting to encounter from life simply passing me by whenever I was before someone who presented their best intention towards me?

There was a time in my life when I could not even answer these questions fully. I would simply state what I knew to be true...which at the time meant nothing more than surface responses. I wanted everything to simply happen and fall into place. Everything had no defined meaning, and anyone could include you...you...and you. No clear guidelines, pathways or flags calling my attentions and focus on a particular object. Even with wearing blinders for so many years, my eyes starved for just that glimpse of something more.

Well nothing falls just in place. Nothing is ever that ideal of fit...there will be times in life when everything is out of place and not one thing or no one will ever fit into place, but that is when the magic and the beauty of life begins to happen. The ability for you to come from it all with a better understanding of yourself, situation and demands and working relationship you continue to build with yourself  you start to recognize the misplaced, misshaped objects all start to fit into place, and with this reality comes the enlightenment you longed for.

So my recent attempts at slowly pacing myself and learning how to pay attention to my emotional self, to then understanding why I associate a rush of feelings and an intense need to be emotionally drowned; with partner acceptance. A long winded idea and thought statement, but I was able to comfortably not heighten  my already intensified anxiety levels regarding love and the pursuit of it's overall happiness. I learned to gradually address my needs and wants and passions and desires in a way that is beneficial to my overall romatic development, and I must say it's really interesting with just how much my willingness to change previous behaviors and patterns to fully and lovingly embrace it all. Willing to love and learn about love, as well as recieve and reciprocate it. Mutual and beneficial and lasting.

Allowing my body to naturally call to you…

There is nothing like a fixed state of emotional interdependence. There is nothing like knowing that my mind, body and soul have remained connected on many levels and all fields to you. Whoever you are, you have already captivated my heart. Former casualness and “just being” was once a way of remaining intimately and emotionally connected with “the act” that encompasses it all. The tying string, and connective piece that allowed for a false sense of togetherness up until now. The string has been cut and the pieces are melting away.

New ideas and new interests are drawing these feelings of new wants and needs. The new interest is in dating and learning how to openly enjoy the company of an interesting personality, bundled with not having too many expectations and demands each other. The feelings experienced and expressed are focused on remaining patient, open minded with my expectations and overall wants. Piecing all of these experiences in and enjoying that looked for and desired relationship and romantic life is the projected outcome.

So I write to you…my soul mate and lover to be. On this date I look for you. Clear as day and dark as night…your existence stills me. It encourages me to continue on in pursuit of pure adoration, love and the beauty of a shared union. The future remains bright and my truth. 

Dear CUPID.....

Dear Cupid,




I actually believed that out of the entire year, your reported month of love and significant day of the 14th which featured hearts and candies signified the start of a relationship and its blossomed rhythm. Little did I know that Valentine’s Day was another way of allowing one’s daily intentions and strife’s with finding love and their ideal partnership just another battlefield?

The truth of the matter is…love shouldn’t be isolated to one day only. Love should be celebrated on a daily basis and not just encompassing our significant others, but everyone we come into contact with. However, for written purposes I will only speak of the love that is valued between couples who found, rekindled or reclaimed their love for one another.

The pressure to fit into this month of red and pink, candies and kisses appeals to not just anyone, but everyone who is on the singles prowl, in between dates and dating prowl, or unsatisfied with their current prowl. The month of February sales sky rocket, empty promises and engagements are issued, idolized romantic starts and endings ensue. Imagery becomes everything. So where do I FIT in? How can I be down with the CUPID swirl?

So in essence Cupid, this letter is written from the point of a struggling lover’s heart. The heart that has been broke, to mended and rebroken again. The heart of a willing person eager to love but where is the love?

It’s exactly 9 more days until the invasion of the Lover’s…do I stand and settle for anyone and anything just to experience the Cupid craze?

Sincerely,

CUPID’S Inquisitor