Showing posts from December, 2012

The Reality is...Close out to the 2012 Year


Yesterday I Smiled Today I laughed and Tomorrow I will have arrived!

A little weekend trip away from New York City to Washington, DC was just the rejuvenation and steps needed in order to further finalize my hearts previous admissions. I had a lot of time to not only reevaluate my past couple of months and overall years high and low peaks, but the fact of the matter is I no longer need YOU.

Realizing that someone no longer serves a purpose in your life can be compared to a freeing sensation within yourself (ME). Every experience and moment shared with this someone becomes distant and faint. What stood out and mattered the most to you no longer holds you.

We choose to be happy. We choose to enjoy each and every experience with our significant others, but when did we choose inept solitude? Was it my choice to partially experience a relationship? Reaping on the limited benefits of an uncertain love...I was angered and disheartend all at once and so blinded by what I thought would be best for my heart.


Simply stated but reveling in my current re…

Friendship two way?

Closing out old chapters and welcoming in new interests and insight I decided that the best practice to enact is the act of forgiveness. The act to gather yourself and move forward, but as you are excelling forward you are already at such heights that coming back down no longer presents itself as an option.

You ever have a friend that became more than a friend to you? A friend who you could enjoy the friendship, alongside pseudo moments of a budding relationship? A friendship that really never had those clearly defined rules of engagement. A friendship that perhaps there was something there be it chemistry, be it excitement and everything that centered on a potential relationship, but the friendship just remained. Along these lines we have mutually made decisions and mistakes that continued to build the nonexistent relationship and uniquely defined friendship.

As time went by everything became blurry. The clearly undefined lines wanted to be recognized. These lines that permeated al…

Finding ME....."Lesson Learned"

On the Airplane enroute to New Orleans Mood: Emotional (slightly teary and sensitive) and good.
So today my emotions are all over the place. I cannot entirely base the feelings I am experiencing on one particular person, incident or situation. I can definitely blame the hormones for perhaps an increase in estrogen, but I am not entirely sold on blaming them.
So why am I on this flight? Why did I board this plane? Why? My fears and motivations and experiences to this date have been pretty interrupted and unexplained. However, how can I explain my current situation and now? How can I explain the moment in between?
What’s going on with my world and life now? Perhaps I can’t think about it just now. Perhaps I don’t have the desired answer(S) because I ABSOLUTELY can’t define my feelings and emotions in regards to our situation.
Yes we have a situation. My eyes began to tear just thinking about this muddled mess of a situation. I can’t define or underline an exact answer, and to this …

In the Night the truth sets US free!

11:59 pm Sunday Dusk
 Having had a lot of time to sort out reality from fantasy I really began to see the dream like state I, You and "We" had created. Sleep pattern on non compliant. Mindset on forget you not. Emotional heart tugging and banging to be loved only by you and stiffling outside competition easily. My mind should be silenced and at ease, but it's racing and thinking about you. Only you.

12:00 AM Monday
When I need you the most you are never to be found. Be it your work schedule, home life and family schedule, social schedule, sporting schedule or individual time schedule; you remain never to be found when I call, text, conjure up an erotic thought as detailed as ever, and designed to be demonstrated only in the midst of you, yet again your schedule remains conflicting with mine and your time is compromised, but again you send me messages awaking my inner needs. Knowing that my needs wont get met on my suggested time schedule, but only whenever I am adhering…