In the Night the truth sets US free!
Having had a lot of time to sort out reality from fantasy I really began to see the dream like state I, You and "We" had created. Sleep pattern on non compliant. Mindset on forget you not. Emotional heart tugging and banging to be loved only by you and stiffling outside competition easily. My mind should be silenced and at ease, but it's racing and thinking about you. Only you.
12:00 AM Monday
When I need you the most you are never to be found. Be it your work schedule, home life and family schedule, social schedule, sporting schedule or individual time schedule; you remain never to be found when I call, text, conjure up an erotic thought as detailed as ever, and designed to be demonstrated only in the midst of you, yet again your schedule remains conflicting with mine and your time is compromised, but again you send me messages awaking my inner needs. Knowing that my needs wont get met on my suggested time schedule, but only whenever I am adhering to your schedule.
1:00 AM Monday Morning
I am awoken by text messages, Two incoming messages are from the males I have set aside all because of the intense emotional connection I assumed I have had and held with you and you only. I don't even know why I am thinking of such a heavy conversation during the wee hours of the morning. Sleep deprived, heart starved and definitely hollowed on the inside. What I need the most now is a reassuring embrace, kiss to the back of my neck and an arm laying limp ontop of me, but what I have right now is an empty bed space filled by stand in pillows who are illuding to a prescence that will never be there.
2:00 AM Monday
The time we take to release other's from our heart's seeps into our lives and surrounds us with hurting feelings. The slights and the pain and the pardoned passion overwhelms us. I awoke this morning thankful to see another blessing of a day and to breathe continued life into my lungs. I played the game with him too many times, and I allowed myself to be a victim under my own guise. So I am allowing myself to walk freely. Freely from pain, hurt and mishaps and move right on along!