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Showing posts from April, 2011

Gifted with the Curse to love....

I want to be loved. I wanted to be wanted and needed. I feel as if I welcome all of these emotions and more, but yet nothing appears to find me. I am lost in this and that one's embrace. No one to touch a serious basis with, and no one to really express how and why I feel this way. Another sad moment one would think, however, it's just the start of an appealing life time of changes and transitions. Changes that will require me to rethink my passions and my love. My love for another human being, which encompasses all. All that is felt and expressed and experienced within me. I open my arms to you life....in shelter for the humilation and unknown times we have experienced.

So a gift to forgive and forget and move on forward appears to be in store. It's like nothing changed or occured. It's like we had no differences, and all that we transfered to one another was a distant memory. I look to you for answers and guidiance and passions that escape me. I look to you for desir…

Relapse OR Adjusting the mind set

I am dreaming of you. I am thinking of you. Classically trained to investigate and evaluate all and everyone who comes before me. Assuming that I knew what was best for me, I would say it would be you. I tested fate out yet again. I had left you alone, and ignored all attempts at getting to know you again, but did I listen to my inner self stating that you were a distant memory, and that everything about you and in regards to you would be forgotten. Immediately I assumed that love wouldn’t live here anymore with you, but in fact loved continues to blossom and bloom for you. No matter how hard I try to deny my truth and intent for you, everything appears to leave me. Strength, sanity and for all it’s worth my soul. Encased in a glass by your essence. Surrounded in such a way I am left suffocating. One will never know the power of your hold upon me.
So as entranced as I am, I am wishing and hoping that you come along and set me free. I am praying that I will find that ideal partner to c…

Detox

Can I drain my feelings for you? Is it possible to strain the extra weighted water from our existence? Can there be another way around these feelings? Simply holding the memory loss machine to my mind, body and soul. Clearing all that existed of and about you. No longer relying on moments in the pass to get through the moments of missing you. A memory of no significance or existence to me anymore. Self resolve and at times loathing of the truth can put you (me) in a pissy mood. I am not looking forward to this acceptance and acknowledgement. I am not looking forward to starting anew once again in regards to my heart, and hearts feelings. I am aching to cling to everything that reminds me of you, and I mean everything. I am standing in my own way of closure. My fears and anxieties of losing you entirely overwhelm me. I cannot bring myself to face the world knowing that we are never going to exist on any level again. As truth begins to sink in and fade into each and every crevice of my …