Gifted with the Curse to love....

I want to be loved. I wanted to be wanted and needed. I feel as if I welcome all of these emotions and more, but yet nothing appears to find me. I am lost in this and that one's embrace. No one to touch a serious basis with, and no one to really express how and why I feel this way. Another sad moment one would think, however, it's just the start of an appealing life time of changes and transitions. Changes that will require me to rethink my passions and my love. My love for another human being, which encompasses all. All that is felt and expressed and experienced within me. I open my arms to you shelter for the humilation and unknown times we have experienced.

So a gift to forgive and forget and move on forward appears to be in store. It's like nothing changed or occured. It's like we had no differences, and all that we transfered to one another was a distant memory. I look to you for answers and guidiance and passions that escape me. I look to you for desires sake. I search you out in the name of it all. The name that calls and beckons to any and everyone who feels the spark of hope and fanaticism of lusty feelings at once.

Whatever these feelings are I want some part of them. It's interesting to me that I continue to share these emotions and dreams. Although they are challenging and take many turns in life, it is never a turn I stray away too far from, and it's always a course I am willing to take and excel at.

So with all these mumbled feelings and emotions I challenge ME. I recently had a nostalgic moment. A moment where I thought it would take eons to occur and happen for me. In time nothing appeared as it was suppose to be. Everything that occurred was meant to be. At times I wondered was I dreaming and deserving of such an intimate moment, and I slowely swalloed each breath of self worth. I invisioned a passionate night, but instead I recieved an intimate, heart pulling and touching moment. I felt needed, and valued and appreciated and important. My essence was wanted. I could have faltered and went the assumed routine, but I stood my ground. I want to know this.....I want to experience each nerve tingled emotion. I want to be sucked into an insanely passionate night. I want your distance to tease me and intoxicate me all at once. I want this. I need this. Is it for me?

Lesson Fifty Seven: Giving it a try....

New avenues calls for continued experienced. New avenues call for a difference and a change in life. I am willing to take another route. A route once assumed impossible and closed off for me, appears to be the start of a new beginning. I want this. I need this. I am this!


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