Like WateR

Your intentions speak highly of your actions and just exactly how you were going to handle and deal with a particular situation. His intentions was to remain as we were. Two adults physically attracted to one another on so many sexual levels and comfort zones. Two aching adults emotionally intuned, but tuned out towards each other's individual needs. Two adults with seemingly similar wants and interest, but when looked upon each other's needs, passions and desires the disconnect continues to push us further away.

I can not tell you how many times I said I was going to pull myself through these emotional slumps. The little glimpse of hope, development and further progression of us set my heart and mind afire. I pretty much began hoping the fantasies and thoughts of you and us could further spill fourth and come to fruition. I laugh at this now, because in reality my fantasy you was someone beyond you. My fantasy you was everything I sought for you, for us and for the building of our relationship. I realized that you weren't ever going to change or transition into this man whom I dreamed about day in and out. I realized that perhaps you were something to stir and ignite a spark into my romantic depths and passions.

In this life time I have come to terms with the fact that we will fall madly and deeply in love with multiple people. We may even idolize and have severe puppy love for each other. Human attraction alongside wanting and needing can never be questioned or doubted in regards to it's intensity. With that realiztion I also came to understand my own personal battles with wanting so intensly. Just because we have cupid eyes or see birds of love flying across our heads does not negate the fact that it just might be experienced, expressed and felt and in passing. It's ok to love and to experience love, but love is as water; fluid and ever flowing and ever changing. At times you (WE) need to all let love go in order to recieve and accept a consistent and constant love. The love I am describing for the males that have entered my life was ever moving, flowing and efficient to an extent of the time experienced with them. This love needed to be let go, and for that I welcome the outwardly flow of loving emotions and affections associated with my past. As in relinquishing a title, I reclaim my heart to it's present and most current needs. Gracing me with the presence of continued blessings and life long lessons. I grant serenity to my ailing heart.


Popular posts from this blog

A lover's death with the past

It was ALL a Dream : Fade To Black

The Unthinkable: I'm losing Myself...