It's YOU!

I still haven't given up on dating and relating and ideally finding the life match for me. I have come across a few that have left impressions on my heart to having someone who dipped briefly into my heart, but yet he was too shallow and weak for my love. It has literally become it's not me it's a you type situation, and oddly the annoyance bells aren't ringing in my ears just yet. I had my misty eyed moment, a big glass of merlot and a music rotation that will master all emotions that are in question...and I have come out OK and stronger than before and realizing that I am everything that I would want and need and that I am enough and in no need for anyones addition into my life if they are coming with dead weight and toxicity.

We are not alive to be annoyed, bickering or belittling one another because we are inept and inebriated at the moment. The reality of this situation is when you trust your emotional curves, and you allow all logic to hit the road and your feet become wet by the road to passion clothed as love everything hits the wall; and so when it's suddenly all over and the rug that was ripped from beneath my solid footing has whisked me into the air in a suspended animation, I have major life choices to make. Either I can come crashing down on the cemented pavement and break everything within my body and continued having my heart shattered, or I can prepare for the impact, shield my heart and body from the impact, collapse into a roll for my landing and get back up and resume life and normalcy as I dust everything that I had previously experienced off and breathe in a hefty breath of knowingness that everything will be ok. I choose the impacted fall with the planned roll and dust off!

I asked myself why did he come into my life? He appeared to be someone I assumed could grow to become that someONE for me; however, he has literally disappointed me and yet I continued to want to be understanding and learn to deal with yet another undeveloped and jaded heart and soul, but this time I am checking within myself and asking what is the lesson here in this experience? I have yet to discover the answer, so Im letting it GO...

I am taking my time yet again, but I am not allowing these attempts at the heart to disappoint me. I have realized that I am actually ready to continue to push myself and my adventure seeing moments forward, rather than hibernate in a state of suspended assumed loving animation.

I however will not stop giving the most and continue to hold no expectations, because I AM!


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