So you really want to take me there……..

You really want me to fall all over you? You really want me to stumble and fall and trip ever so easily over the lingering feelings of and about you? You really have my mind going. At times I wonder how my mind and heart continues to linger on you. How endless nights I think of and dream about you. I want you so badly to the point of exhaustion. I am tired of these nights. I am reckless in my dreams and thoughts of you. I am uninhibited to the point of no return. I am willing to attempt to try for you, and with you. My best attempts will be spent on you……..So I awake and find myself wiping the sweat off my face. I slide my legs from my covers and place both feet on the floor. I stare up at the ceiling and say “Ah another night without you”, So I stand up and walk towards to my bathroom and rinse my face and towel dry my lost night of passion and simply being enchanted and embraced by you.
Are you telling me something? Are you really telling me something? This most recent conversation revealed to me several factors and things about you. For one you are holding on to some fear. A fear so strong it paralyzes you. This fear prevents you from furthering yourself in developing any form of personable relationships. I question a lot. Often I am guessing what’s going with you and me. I feel as if I am in the midst of your break through, but you slowly take away from our moment. Yes OUR moment. Endless writes and rewrites of everything that is going on with us. Yes US. Second guessing and gripping closely to the uncertain…….leaves me gasping for an answer. I want you to just say it. Just express IT! It IS WHAT HOLDS ME TO YOU. IT HAS BECOME THE UNKNOWN TO AND FOR ME. It has taken on an entirely new persona than ever before. It has more meaning………So will you?.....I wait? Do I?

Times like these….
In reality I am sitting hearing allowing my mind and thoughts to run wild. I am entertaining the idea of you starting to come out of yourself enclosed shell. The trance of hurt and life’s dislikes in regards to dating and relating effects you so much to the extent of denying the obvious. So as we talked and talked, there was not one point where things became awkwardly quiet. There was not one point or dip in the conversation. The tempo of our talk was sweet and long awaited. I feel happy and satisfied speaking to and with you. I realized that I must say what I want and feel at times needs to be stated. However, I am not going to reveal my love for you just yet. I am awaiting your acceptance that you deserve someone to care for you. Someone to like and eventually fall in love with you. It would take this one day and instance for you to realize that there is someone to love you. I realized that a long time ago. Although I crush on, like/to love you, I know deep down that I am an amazing someone who is deserving of incredible love. I honor and hold thee!

Lesson Forty Four: To wait….. I can’t make you love me….
I can’t pressure you, for I know eventually it will come just as clear to you. I can only hope for continued days and experiences that inspire my passion for writing. For each moment experienced and expressed I cherish all.


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