What makes your eyes open in the morning?

So it appears as if everyone former friend, lover, midnight call, half way thought, attempt of interest -appears to be coming all forward towards me; and do I even stop and think about why their presence and need to rekindle anything resembling a relationship with me once again? I guess clearing out all of my closets, my go to relationships and my lusty and holding on dreams for him to return to me perhaps opened the flood gates for all to tackle me. I ask myself constantly do I want this occurrence. The changes associated with single life and living, and also, the changes associated with dating and relating with others. No one male focus or interest, but several focuses and interests. Am I built for the many emotions and styles and changes? Or charting my male production in coded words and happenings. Ah, Mr. Monday appeared, now on to a dinner date with Mr. Thursday. Mr. Wednesday and Mr. Saturday are over night specials, and boy that Mr. Friday surely knows how to make a girl swoon. Is this the pattern of ease from a broken mending heart? Is this the basis for the starting up of a relationship? Is this how we pain associate and free think and fall when things get tough and out of hand with life? Hmmm….I dare say that this experience thus far has rekindled my intimate connection with myself and body, however, my mind and heart are definitely not together on this one. In fact I dare say that my thoughts of wreck less abandonment continue to prevail.

On this date and day in my life and world I decided not to put you off any longer. What am I holding on for? Who am I holding on for? Why can’t I just learn to live in the moment and not clock or time anything or anyone for that matter? I will allow you to visit with me. I will allow you to embrace and hold on to me. I will then check with you again and again verifying your presence and the acceptance of my gift. Time well spent and enjoyed and physically expressed is a gift of greater goods and far and above anything anyone can expect. Let’s just say I choose you.

Lesson Forty –Seven Compare and Contrast

Each and every experience and person is different. Who am I to deny the good and bad of you or within? Who am I to deny myself the ability to learn about you, experience you and link with you? I am learning not to allow myself to stay stagnant. Stagnant in life and in love. Love can be a daily experience or it can turn into a life time experience, however, learning to live freely and openly and challenge myself on a daily and loving path on this thing called life will only set me free. Let me go.


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