When the all smoke is clear and the signs are to be seen……..

No matter how much you tell yourself something is not a good idea, fit, look, want, need and desire for you; we are still left with heart circled eyes and an inkling of hope or desire for the situation to amend itself before it heads further down the drain. The situation could be an assumed more than friends’ relationship. Yeah you two mutually like each other, however, it‘s more one sided than ever. Or perhaps you notice your personal scheduled has become seriously busy and occupied, and it continues to prevent meet ups and dates from occurring from time to time with your lover. However, a consistent doldrums’ of your lover’s tone of busy all the time further inclines me to let it stray. GO and be done with already feelings!
The meager attempts to occupy your time and refrain from the messages and calls and any form of contact with your in question subject of attention and desire, you find yourself thinking of being with them, and missing the smallest thing about them. There scent immediately assails your space and you go into lingering and desiring for them mode. How is it so easy to just step back into wrong? Yes I said it……going back into bad habits. Habits that we swore up and down about no longer encouraging and regarding as important anymore. We immediately went into attack and put those feelings down action scene 100, because we know they were hurtful and resentful, and it served no actual purpose for our health and long term situation and current needs. So here comes the guilt truck, washing us down like the used and old car we feel like. However, this car just realized something…..instead of beating yourself up for being human and experiencing a human emotion and feeling , why not acknowledge the feelings?
Yes I said acknowledge the feeling!!!! Deal with it, don’t just shove it to the ground, double pad lock it in the forbidden thought closet, or swear on everything that it’s a thought that will occur ever 364th day, and not to worry. These feelings and more will continue to occur and happen, and aren’t easily washed away. Why? Because we are human. We think and breathe emotions. We crave a connection and a sense of history towards anything that brings back nostalgic moments. By embracing the memory, it does not mean we will go back into old habits, it just means that we are still dealing with the issue currently, and it has become prominent within our emotions center again.

How can we better deal with these feelings and memories? How can I resolve or for that matter is there any resolution from just a thought? The fear of just allowing something to creep into the mind scares us. It’s like going on the every year gym and diet change. We go great, but when the holidays come we attempt to not think about those moments, and we end up driving ourselves mad with not thinking tactics and techniques, then we totally go bonkers and fall off the wagon projecting a new start and date, and no mission accomplished but easily creep under contentment and backslidings welcoming covers…..

Well memory and nostalgia and moments felt and experienced from my previous loved to be in loved by lover thoughts……you don’t scare me. Actually you make me laugh. A mere expression caused so much mayhem and melt down moments. Madness I say! I embrace and invite you to be a part of at times my steamy night moments, perhaps I can put in a play of thoughts with you as well. How about I set the scene and it may remind me of a nostalgic moment, but it doesn’t have to include the forgotten lover experienced with. I control and conduct my emotions and feelings. I deal with them and will no longer run from them. There is no amount of hiding or running one could do anymore. Dealing and facing issues and allowing time to be the ultimate healer and concealor of all appear to be the best situation and resolution possible. I am blessed. I continually am learning how not to run and just go with the flow and deal with this every pressing steam pot called life!

Lesson Thirty Four- You remind me of…….
There is always a time and place for any and everything, but there never will be a recaptured time of the former me. The former me in regards to behavioral and thinking and thought processing a way of living and dreaming. I have changed and gathered all of these changes in one momentous moment. It’s time for me to reclaim my spot and stay on top and afloat of and above all.


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