Trust in YOU
So as times progresses and changes and situations increase or decrease, I am paying so much more attention to matters at hand. First and foremost I am learning more about me, and my needs and personal wants and desires. I am learning to enjoy my own company and sit still with me. Anxiety and paranoia at times seeps into the mind. Why? Being so comforted and content and set in a way that completes me so brings up worry in the areas of you. Will I be able to accept you in my life? Am I willing to accept you in my solitude of times and state? Will I revert back to old ways of thinking? Will I lose me? I have worked so hard to sustain myself. I have worked even harder with acknowledging myself worth and also love for myself. Once these gray clouds starts treading into my mind, I become anxious and nervous all at once. I think about the maturity, and the self success that I am experiencing. I am finally accepting former faults and failures with open arms and a budding heart, however, this does not mean I want to repeat them or have them contending with my daily in’s and out’s. In fact, I assumed I extinguished them all with my new self outlook and love. Love for me and love for my life. As the panic and anxiety subsides, I then begin to realize that fear has stopped me many of times. Fear has not only kicked my ass, but it has put a long stand still to progress. Fear has paralyzed me from realizing my potential and upward successes, from small to large. Fear has talked me out of many experiences, potentials and probabilities. Fear has led me to believe that this will be the end result of an assumed situation. Fear has severed my head, to heart to soul connection. Well I no longer invite fear into my life. I extinguished that notion of being submerged by the darkness of fear.
So if I could suggest this joint relationship it would be like this…..
My space and peace and calm have always gathered through the most troubling and time consuming times. I have gathered myself, nerve and strength from relying on these factors in my life. Personally it’s my medication to quell the troubling times. However, should you enter my life it would simply remain the same, but you would be included in my resolve and return to me tactics. You would assist me with centering myself. I would rely on your convictions of making my experience the most valuable and best experience ever. I would turn to you not only as my lover, but my confidant and friend. I would look for you in times of success and strife, for you are my companion and you compliment all my needs. I am not afraid to surrender for love, but I will not submerge myself. I am aware that this is a two person situation, and that in order for us to become a success we must make our experiences the best possible experiences as of yet, however, we must take a note that we are two individuals entering into a relationship not to be molded as one, but to forge and solidify our path as a whole. I am not losing me, and neither are you losing you. We are gathering ourselves to bind our souls together as the tying factor in life. Our love, friendship, dedication, trust and honor of each other will supersede the small notions and trying moments of life. Our mutual and pure respect will carry us to new avenues of dependence and interdependence. For I love and value you, and look forward to connecting and spending more time with you.
Lesson Thirty: Out with the toxicity and in with the clean love
As many times as I excused myself from commitment, found time to burrow in a hole of self doubt and pure unadulterated rage of failed relationships, I now venture on a truly positive and self loving experience. A journey as never before experienced with and for me. I invite everyone to challenge themselves in the name of true passion and love. Venture out and expose more of you, explore and dare to share more of you, but respect what and who you are and the successful person you are creating yourself to be, because although we would love to be born an amazing one, we must put all the pieces together. We (I) have to take life’s time to get to know you (me), in vigor and empower you (me) and most of all love who you (i) am, and am becoming.