The walls up high.

There is a barrier that surrounds me. It's impenetrable, its impossible to bypass. It remain illusive to all, but once tapped into it becomes the pink elephant in a white walled washed room. Me shallow? Me timid? Two distincts but ever so distant descriptions of me. You wonder why I am the way I am? You wonder why I love so openly, but close down my heart and all feelings and emotions associated with my heart so tightly?

Will you ever know why I hurt so? Will I even allow you a chance to get to know me truly, madly and deeply? I counter a question with another question. I dodge maybe with perhaps so. I run away from prominent and potential to fall hopelessly and madly in love with no care or concern. I cheat with broken hearted and stay in bed with disillusioned........

Our connection is strong. Our love is there, but am I there? A lapse in time and any given space will not be enough....nothing is never enough as it seems. I feel drowned. I of I'm falling into that hexed wishing well. Time will cease if I omit. Time will end. Life won't resume. Paralysis and tidal waves of fears settles in. You will disappoint me. Trap me.

But I do. I care. I need and I love you. Why you?

I want answers, but I can't point one of ten fingers to any selected notation of my love.


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