Friday, March 26, 2010

Letting Yourself Go. A Definitive Personal Life Lesson And Experience.

Having a successful relationship takes a lot of work and effort. When you begin to break the dynamics of your relationship down into generalized categories, you then begin to realize that your relationship dominates a major part of your life.
Some of the questions that we may ask ourselves is how can we maintain a successful relationship, and remain balanced in other sectors of our life (work, friends, school, family life).
When I was in my early twenties, it was very difficult for me to maintain my relationship, outside friendships and family life. I became consumed with attempting to be the idolized girlfriend. Linda Carter (Actor who played Wonder Woman) had nothing on me. As my attempts at relationships faltered, I soon began to notice that having a sense of balance and personal stability would not just come from having a relationship, but having the ability to balance myself. I venture to say that I am still attempting to find that balance. Life continues to present so many experiences from which I continue to learn from.
My most reason experience was a short lived one. A relationship that was over before it even started. Sometimes I ask myself, how this particular relationship occurred but I still am answered with sounds of nothingness. What appeared in the beginning to be two adults finding about one another, turned into a drama filled five months until destruction. Some of the key elements I learned in this relationship was trust your inner instincts and feelings regarding someone. Never self doubt. First impressions generally are the right impressions, or at least close to it. Secondly, If you are feeling sorry or inclined to take on the significant other as a charity case,definitely don't go that route, because in the end you will be the one in need of referrals and additional supportive services.
Also feelings of questioning your own stability and sanity persisted, however, I worked through them and past them with the support of friends and a stable social network. Although the relationship ended not in either one of our best intentions and interest, I feel as if I have developed and grown into the woman I visualize to be. I have learned that it is okay to say no. Having the ability to openly communicate and speak whats exactly on your mind is freeing. Actually, if i had the opportunity to go back in time with a few of my past relationships I would have said that "I like you, but I know for me and what I am attempting to gradually grow and develop in wont come from the existence or attempts of me and you. So lets let it dissolve and move on". Well ideally that is what I would have loved to say!

Life lesson 1:
Trust in you. Never doubt who you are. Always know that you can say exactly what you feel! Your desires and passions are to be lived for and dreamed about. You are that important person, and although we may become involved with negative people, or have had negative experiences in our past and present and unforeseeable future, it does not and will not dictate our existence. We are human and prone to mistakes. However, some mistakes can be avoidable, but the ones we don't avoid, comes with a life lesson learned.


YOU WILL SURVIVE!

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