In stillness you will find just exactly what you was looking for...
The moment when I was faced with seeing, hearing and knowing all, but knowing nothing at all. The moment when my mind took over and silenced my inner gut reactions of having an emotional overload and melt down of feelings; feelings that were designated onto all forms of my past. Ex boo, ex love, ex ex and simply non justifiable relationships. My mind went numb…
It takes a lot of courage to write about your relationship downfalls, self-observations and over experience with love and when in love, but what stood out the most to me is finally hearing that answer I have been looking for all of this time. There is no need to upset myself or get bent out all over shape at what previously existed and had transpired within my life. All I could do was wish the ill thoughts away, pray for a better outlook and overall outcome and peace and stillness revolved around me.
There is nothing like the chase. There is nothing in comparison to wanting to be wanted by many, desired by a few and loved by one; then again there is nothing wrong with continually experiencing life on demand rather than awaiting a wish or occurrence that may never occur if you would have not ventured out and taken that risk.
Throughout the down side and moments in my time, the upside and calmness presented itself and I finally felt the calm. The instant I allowed myself to visually ingest what I saw, I applied it presently to where I am at currently in my life. Nothing will move forward or progress forward in life without my permission. The permission for me to feel hurt, to feel less than, to feel unworthy, to feel denied has all been dismissed.
I will no longer operate erratically and based entirely on emotions only. I am at peace.