Some Day You Will Ache Like I Ache...#DollParts

I can do this…

I want to do this…

I will do this…

The ache inside of my soul to fulfill the necessary longing of a woman who longs for the man whom she has fallen in love with unabashedly, and admittedly so she has loved this man from the very first day she laid eyes upon him, there was this instant connection that never ceased to stop. She has marveled at how he has soothed her soul and silences her chaotic emotional waves and questioning theories about love and the existence of true faith when one truly finds their souls mate, but deep down inside she fears she will never be enough for him, she finds herself looking towards the attention of half hearted affectionate love starved interests who only balance her temporarily and silence the moans from a grieving heart.

I want that moment back when you beckoned to see me, but yet after all the hair styling, waxing and tweezing and mental and physical preparation of your arrival I still feared seeing you, so I flaked and canceled and now I am left wondering what could have been…why is that? This is my current brain conundrum…this is the ache in my belly and hole that’s fluttering dangerously within my heart. I am drowning on thoughts and literally washed away in a memories time. I feel deeply and care enormously for you, but yet I fear you.

 If I have you…what could I possibly do with you?

Having you is enough? Shall I continue to want you after I have had you?

Having and had you consists of what to me?

I love deeply and passionately and half-heartedly and surface all at once, but yet with you I feel as if I can lose everything and within losing everything I will lose myself, the image of self that I have built and worked on for so many years. What will become of me?


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