Monogamy over Monotony You choose!

It took having a pretty hectic work day and sensing I needed a time out stress reduction break with the benefits of easing my mind and tension from the start of the day by simply focusing on my breathing and truly centering myself, before I began to sort out just exactly how my day was going to transition into later on in the afternoon. My mind can easily become cloudy and my thoughts can lose attention truly when my mind begins to take a detour and wonder about the ways of others and their involvement with and within my life. At the end of the day I have choices and not just one choice, but several decisions that I can make all based on what I am feeling, where I am headed and what I would like to experience within my life, and at this point of realizing this I simply let the moment go and found my focus once again.

I don’t dislike dating, I truly enjoy meeting someone of interest and depth and going through the formal get to know you stages, but at this very moment I realized that I am ok not dating or being entirely exclusive to anyone. I am open to entertaining interests and I might actually fall in genuine like with a possibility of a blooming love, but what stirs me and has captivated my attention has been my own personal journey with learning what pull’s me and gets me going. This getting to know me moments can’t be summarized into my set experience, because there has been so many to speak about, but all in all I have grown to come accustomed to falling in love with me.

I have grown to enjoy my company without fear of wondering about learning to enjoy self-company or company with friends and family only lose interest due to wondering if I could be doing a shared activity with my lover better. I have adjusted to having dinner with a male of interest, but without jumping the shared dinner enjoyment stage and planning our marriage to be, or wondering about how my last name change would sound. I can easily enjoy shared laughter, mutual flirting and a wave goodnight and a parting of ways without wondering does he have to come by me, or I go by him and should we take this route, or better yet if I take this route there is no obligations to the moment, and does not at any point in time signify a relationship.

I am learning the art of taking everything in from sight, sound and taste to even enjoying the listening pleasures of deep to shallow conversations. I am not exclusive to any form of relating I am inclusive and it feels so freeing to simply be without doubt, fear or the need to gain and get simple life pleasures from accumulated expectations.  

I can tie these feelings and wants into the live for the moment theme and enjoy impermanence and the present state of mind and being without past woes and future predictions, and so with that being said contentment within my own company has come with no fear nor reckless abandonment, but with a sense that everything will work wonderfully well as long as I continue to experience life as if it was meant to be experienced and that’s an everyday in the moment process we are gifted daily with.

So as I channel this energy and yet affirm a new reality within my dating and relating schisms I am pleasantly surprised to have had, held and written about this moment.


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