A new year has rolled in and with a humbled and forgiving heart, I decided to simply let all those who don't belong in my life to simply exit with no explanation on their behalf or mine. I realized that I needed to cut the emotional attachment to my past love, and let go the blinding love I thought I was experiencing from a fleeting flame. My life could have been topsy turvy if I had chose to continue to hold out hope for my former love, or to erase out his memory with a uncharted relationship with someone from my past who instantly became a filler for the moment and the limited time our relationship lasted. It was as if I went from one wrecking pile into another, and the cycle of emotional torment and pain really needed to be silenced completely within myself. So I left it all and ended up putting my new year intentions into the universal pull of life and the existence of forgive, forget and release yourself!
I waiver on being entirely emotionally inclined and interested in others, because at this point I simply did not want to waste my time, invest my energy and commit to another headache of a lifetime movie waiting to roll out for a new season and life cycle, but all in all I trust my instincts and know that things happen and doesn't discourage me from experiencing the best relationship yet, and a relationship that I am well deserving of. It's easier for me to harp on the emotional pains in life, disappointments with love and failed attachments rather than bask in the bliss of a momentous exploration of two individuals who have arrived on the same plain of love, life and happiness.
Genuine Beauty and belief in the existence of thereafter
So just as I was temporarily exhausted from the idea of going back into the world of dating and relating, life happens to me once again, and oddly this time I am not pushing to understand how and why life happened, but I am trusting the guttural draw of serendipity and universal intervention and the pull to experience this life in full bloom.
After my mind literally freed itself from one connective force, and peeled away the layers of scar tissue from a fleeting love I literally didn't see myself wanting to expose my healing heart to another, but as life would have it my heart began blooming for another openly, but with ease and a cleaned slate, and so I allow potential to rise and the possibility of a shared romantic interest to grow.
He presented himself to me as open as possible, his timing seemed to befit my very on departure from expectations and an assortment of doubts within life and love. Oddly enough prior to our interactions he had crossed my mind. I thought of him, and how was he doing and what was he doing, and just as brief as the thought was it came back and into full swing, but this time we were interacting and allowing the flow of a naturally orchestrated conversation to develop, and the possibility of potential to build.
So in doubt I wavered, I even stumbled backwards and went with what I knew, but I knew I had to clean the slate and this time for good.
Just as the start of the year began, so many challenges and transitions all started to kick into place, and with that inner strength, faith and determination to want more for myself slowly reminded me of the many times I had the "ugly cry" survived the day and was my own damn heroine. So in the midst of change I am beyond prepared, and I absolutely know what's in the best interest of my heart, body and soul and universal pull to simply love!
Serendipity, 17
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