Taking the Super Hero role or Villian????

So it seems you have stumbled upon me yet again.......DECISIONS

It's as if it was all a dream. I really didn't think too much about you or the consequences of my actions. I really didn't think how you would feel before or after. I really did not think that you would come to matter, care or for that matter be a topic of desire and interest for me. I truly took your time and moment for myself and my pleasures only. If for being nice, and presenting good conversations, and outright acceptability of you....well I was just being ME. I was just assuming that you would go with the ebb and flow of the day and nights. I was assuming that "I had this", and that there was no reason why I couldn't control the matter, you, feelings and the emotional tides.......Am I sorry? Not really. I do apologize for the unexpected outcome and assumed behaviors. I do feel a way about how everything happened, and also, for my need to clear all by shutting you down and out. This is for the best and the better, for I was only a moment in your time. Nothing to want, desire or need further. For I was your spoil.....throw me away before I rot you.

Perhaps being on top of the ROMANTIC world isn't so bad at all......

When does one loose reality and grip with a never ending situation or cause? When would one finally face the fact that, HEY this is life and it's a part of the growth process? When will one (I, ME, SHE OR HE) realize that games are trivial and are meant to be played at a caution and arms length away from the heart, for I have been the game inventor, and key player and I am already throwing in the towel. So I roll the dice.....I hit an odd number continually. Is that a good sign or is that a bad sign of life???
Going from being the text and call queen, to entertaining wanted guests at night, to the lonely, heart stricken, painful moments in my time. What a stretch one would say! From slights imagined, to actual beaten down betrayal; this game is no longer in tune and touch with me. I must quickly put it away.

So I ask myself.......

I was attempting to go this way, but I turned that way seemingly attempting to be neutral, but not overly extra. I ended up with more problems to care for. I pay you, and me and her no mind, because at the end of the day it no longer exists or troubles me. Going the straight and narrow does not exist; it consists of winding, strange and stronghold roads. Discipline myself one would say, buckle down another would say, but all in all, I change for not.

Lesson Ten: If you seek it, you shall get it.....
Always know that what you put forth will push you right backward. What you hold and hide in secret, will gesture and beckon to come out. What you render as useless will become priceless and up for many to grab. To not respect and take heed, will only lead to your departured time. CHOICES!


Popular posts from this blog

A lover's death with the past

It was ALL a Dream : Fade To Black

The Unthinkable: I'm losing Myself...