Needing and wanting and defining the two

Needing and wanting and understanding the difference in the two is made simpler when you are aware of your own individual desires. I have wanted so much in life in regards to financial, educational, material and romantic success that I have blinded myself to my own needs. Feeling a bit flighty and a self-actualized failure of self of sorts, I have allowed myself to swarm in the doldrums of my own self-created emotional prison. How did I escape those tormenting feelings? By realizing my needs and wants and envisioning a burgeoning desire ahead.

I wanted to be wanted and needed all at once, not taking into fact that these two would walk hand in hand and at times in unison in my life. I gave into simply wants thinking it was the steps I would need to develop and grow into a new me, but the wants increased and became primary in achieving. I no longer catered to my own needs and could not identify anything steady and current in my life. Nothing concrete or in the inner workings of developing into something meaningful ever mattered to me. A want could not be seen or envisioned furthermore until now.

I dreamed of you. I dreamed that one day you would enter my life and the two would meet each other head on. The want to experience and have you in my life, would then summon in my need for you. Awaking to myself, in my own self-imposed world is no longer a desire, but awaking next to you was the wanting I needed to explore and expand further. 


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