I was humbled

When you think about everything that could possibly go wrong in your life, you become your own worst critic. What was an experience that went terribly wrong becomes an experience that increases in it's pain levels. Each increment of hurt and anguish and "what if" brings you literally to your knees. Your complexion has paled in comparison to it's once sun kissed perfection. To expect the worst is your new norm. Can I tell you that this story has literally defined my life? I have become so engrossed in the possibility of not being able to transcend these tempoary and fleeting moments which are to be expected; to then look further and dig deeper within my heart of all hearts. This story begins with everything happening as expected and then gradually me losing my footing and floating aimlessly to an undefined life line. Pain becomes happiness and being down and deeply indifferent to a sense of change and to challenge oneself to push just a little further remains lost within the original idea of happiness. What humbled me was the innocence of a child, and not just any child, but an individual so dear to me and close to me that our shared blood pulsates through our veins. She is a beautiful being, who is developing into a beautiful soul and young woman. In her life's eye she has been through so much then I have dared to dream and have experienced. She has braved surgeries and continued to dare to dream and live her life like no other. Whenever I was feeling down and doubt about thing I turned to her experience to allow myself to know that whatever fleeting hurtful moment I assumed would be the ending of my world, was only passing and tempoary, and that life had far more hurtles and challenges then the small ones I had deemed battles. I was humbled by her resiliance and acceptance in the role her spirit would play in her life. Just looking into her eyes I saw she was tired, and continuing to heal from her most recent surgery, but she remained steadfast and abreast about the life happenings involving us all. Her gift to dream and divine retreat into the unknown and life's order silenced me. Before I laid down to sleep, I cried deeply. I cried not because I was sad for her or I felt she was any different than anyone else I have known; I cried because of her utter ability to continue to live life accordingly throughout her medical up's and down's. I cried in the strength of her beauty and I felt rejuvenated. I basked in a beauty. I basked in the innocence of youth. I was humbled and looked at everything that happened and occurred to me, towards me and within me as a fleeting and passing moment. There is more to life then what meets our humanistic eyes, and the will to surpass even our very own limitations humbled me. I thank her. I love her.

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