Cheers to the past, hello to my present and I await you future.

If only I had truly listened to you. I listened over you. I listened through you, but I never gravitated to entirely hearing you. I never understood the depth of your deception. I never realized just how much your needs outweighed my very own. In my hopes that you wanted me, I was stuck in a naive dream and in this dream you countered everything I saw of you. I saw your selfish ways, I saw your stubborness and your ability to entirely take control of my conversation and very own thoughts. I was willed to want you from a sense of self depricating life lessons, that was unwillingly learned and taught. Now I have found the time to really appreciate what and whom matters to me the most. A lover who absolutely is into me. Into me in a sense of making sure that I am ok, I exist and that I am healthy and truly stable within my day. A lover who sincerely wants to create life with me, and build around me. A restored fortress of two lost souls looking to submerge in unity of a newfound day and hope! I truly learned to cherish my love when I had a nostaligic moment and conversation with a former piece that not longer built the puzzle. A simple gesture of gratitude and friendship would have sufficed, but the ability to see nothing further in me then a physical feature and attribute no longer defined me. I realized the depths of love and the determination of ME. I realized that in passing some moments were never to be captured again and that they served their purpose in the past. My past would never define my future, and I would be free from any anxiety and self inflicted doubt any longer. When you see the ones who hold you close, in comparison to the ones that want to take everything from you, you then realize a mutual love is an earned and respected love and for which I no longer love, respect or want you. Salutations to CHRISTMAS PASS