Monday, January 20, 2014

Where Did I Go Wrong- and my Heart keeps spinning



The moment of impact…


A natural instinct would be to dig deeply within and look to lick all wounds exposed. The sore would be so deep, that it would become infectious and festering in a matter of seconds. Everything becomes elevated. Your loves lifeline depends on the antidote, which is right before you. You look deeply at the contents and know that choosing to ingest so would result in a quick healing, but yet you choose to wither away and lay your aching remains within your once sheltered heart.

I choose to feel this moment of discomfort.

I accept everything that comes with these hardships and emotions tied to it all.  My sense of knowing has afforded me the ability to pull back. I am not at war with love, I am one with love and any moment and time love can depart from us and literally have us in such a tailspin.


It’s when we seek solace and balance to bring about resolve. There is nothing like going forward with a life event and continuing to live it truly and thoroughly, but when you become disconnected even a shock to the system wont create a response, but cause a revolt.

I have departed and I am starting to look ahead. Not to join someone or a new community, but in essence to erase what was once. I can stand suspended in an animated state of contemplation, but yet nothing will come from this. How would I know, because I had already known, but I chose to rise to the occasion and make my best efforts at conforming to a life I rarely visited and experienced.

Cautious and contained would normally result in a wounded lovers shield, only reinforced by the belief that you will never allow yourself to get to that level of vulnerability again, but it’s never realistic or ideal to experience these after affects and feelings.

I have reaffirmed my place and station within these troubling life moments.


I am Happy-Although I am experiencing a stunted sadness of the deepest




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