Movement Forward: Progression and Understanding is sweet!

There comes a time when you have to fold in your cards and give everything up to the universe and the way of the world and it’s natural passions. I am realizing that nothing in life is ever easy and I have held many decks of cards and was well aware of the losing hand, but I continue to hold my hand with hopes that an ace would make its appearance and my card hand would right itself…but no nothing was ever so simple for me.

I continue to write my love life and lessons within love, and yet I am not wasted or solemnly lost there is hope. My heart continues to bloom and within this bloom I feel true love. Perhaps my mission in this life is to have the capacity to share my love, even when my love shared is not returned equally I still haven’t lost the ability to smile openly and wish for the best out of each and every last experience.

My quest for success within love is what leads me to pursue all my passions and dreams and to really know that as intricate as relationships are there are many that will skid across my heart and even some that may pierce my heart, but to capture and entrench my soul in the depths of my desires beyond reasonable doubt is what keeps me pursuing love like never before.

I am realizing that I am the wall that remains afraid of being broken down or taken away. I say this because recently, I allowed myself to entertain someone who neither struck my interest nor allowed my charted desire meter to hit level 10! 

I was attempting to make the most out of simple chatting away with him to see if possibly I could grow to like him even more, this pulling relationship resembled a previous experience I had whereas I shared a genuine friendship and at one time during our relationship a love for him, but I slowly fell out of love with him and our former friendship started to fall apart and my emotional ties began to fade away more and more. I said to myself, how could I allow myself to experience this unwanted attention. The moments when I was interested or slightly aroused was far and few and my mind continued to be clouded with the one I adored, but who didn’t adore me back.

So my heart is tossing and turning and being pushed aside what appears to be the majority of the time, but I somehow allow love to seep out, but it’s not enough love because I’m blocked and still clenching my hands to protect my heart…how do I forgive myself and let everything simply go?

This question remains on my mind, however, with each thought I don't worry myself or stumble into a worried dream state. I actually embraced each moment with surprise and a deepened respect and interest within my personal attributes and schemes of life. I'm enjoying every moment of finding that absolute and destined love shared with a significant other, but complimented by my deepened love and desire to being more attentive towards me. I love me most importantly and more!