Eyes Wide open.
Time and distance and life in general to open up before me remain a challenge. Anticipating a change or a challenge is simply a burden to the unkempt mind. I am forever thinking of the next thing to do and attempt and escape normalcy at all times. Perhaps life is positioning me to the point of simple compliance, which in my nature does not exist. So I ask myself several questions……..
Was it a dream…..?
Perhaps everything that was said in between really didn’t mean a thing or matter. I assumed and expected so much more from you. I have no idea why I felt things would change or transition into something beneficial for us two. As I write this I wondered if you really cared, or was you like everyone else in my life; so tempted to taste and tease and experience anything further in mind and thought processing was not an option. Did it occur to you that I actually have feelings? Then I think again to myself, why would anything beyond yourself and individual feelings occur to you? Why would you consider reaching the realms of reasoning? Perhaps I expected more from you. Not perhaps, I truly did. You sold me a line or two. You milked everything I could possibly want and desire from you, but when all was said and done you left me just like each and everyone.
Comparatively speaking it appears very hard to continue to think any differently. Although one may say transition ones way of thinking and thought process, it still remains to be the same outcomes. What exactly am I looking for one would ask? A major overhauling of the dating and romancing realm. What happened to the days of romance truly and purely pretty? A romance that would blossom in time and over time, something that was never not foreseen, but expected and desired for. What happened to being told that you are amazing as you and overly as you, and there is nothing else that the ideally in loved person would rather want to do, but with you and for you?
Lesson Twenty Six: Blind folds-
Never let anyone cover your eyes. Always lay a claim to each and every life viewpoint you may have. Never give anyone your stare or viewpoint gaze. Always have both eyes wide open. Expect the best and view all.